Toronto 2017

Where to start.

Well, a good start might be that this post was not actually written on this day but rather the body of the text composed mostly September 5, 2017. It happened around this time however, and I am also choosing to bury it here in old archives because of a reason that would make a better start: This post is for a very specific group of friends who would understand that I am being like Grandpa Recollecting, writing about an experience in Toronto from this summer, we did a "great job, guys", and although it's over It's Not Goodbye.

If that confused you I apologize because this post will make no objective sense because it is a memoir without context, though you are welcome to stay and I hope you get a good feeling from it.

And if you do understand, then please know that I miss you dearly and cannot wait to meet again.

Just a few memories to repaint the feeling from where I sat:

The reverb of the bass.

The warmth of the Clarinet solo.

The glow of the laps on our stands, illuminating the tips of the faces of friends breaking up the darkness around.

The feeling of us all sitting there together, moving together to make music.

White-capped shoulders of (I can't read my own writing)

Crack the Mountain Ramparts' low, velvet harmonies

The warm, loving, happy tones of people so excite to meet eachother that filled the aud during intermission; strangers who don't know eachother but love eachother.

Their sincere thanks that make us want to thank them for their thank-you. (How Canadian ;)

There were kilts.

Cascading pot lights in the darkened aud.

Piano sides

The flutes playing and singing into the fans.

The flutes always going outside.

Clarinet shenanigans.

"Great job, guys" from a wonderful leader.

How petrified we all were the first day, versus our screaming after the first show.

The voice that always said our calls when "this is your 10 minute call, your 10 minute call"

Searching the crowd for white (international) lanyards. (But don't forget to remove the orange ones!)

Being so happy that we get to keep our orange ones.

The screaming and cheering in the hallway after. "We did it!!!!!"

The draft that always seemed to come in from stage left.

The white teeth and white swirly aprons, highlighting a winning smile.

The girl in the green suit that was like the goose at the tip of the flock.

Expressive and joyful dancers

Perfectly in-sync movements of the sisters in the dance with the yellow orange and blue and black outfits.

The off clapping while trying to keep in time with the dance music because the sound had so far to travel.

The adorable kid in the front row.

Beer boy.

Running down the aisle to make it before your section's entry during practice.

Him Tortons

The first time we saw it all together and the giant roll of toilet paper that was passed around.

"Everything is subject to change"

Tradition of "Shhhh" to clarinet 2 before every show.

You'll meet my pet alligator.

Tossing the alligator toy around at the end of the day.

How hot it was upstairs.

How cold it got downstairs. The last one was basically the Northwest passage.

This has been the most wonderful experience ever. I have never been so happy to belong here. I remember making the connection of two long lost musicians who felt like loving parents, a flutie (flute + buddy = flutie) who always picked the white dog hair off my black cardigan, and getting to know wonderful forever friends. Getting to know people who care very deeply, who are as humble as they are talented, and always so sincere and making up a group with colourful personalities that is also yet harmonious.

While this was a privilege form of service and volunteering, being involved in this activity in this group has also truly has been a "perfect present".

I could have lived in those two hours forever.  I don't want to forget any part of this, and thinking about that as a possibility really scares me. I am convinced that although we cannot live in those two hours forever, we can carry the feeling forward forever.

As the vocalists put in their letter, we won't let it get to our heads, but it will stay in our hearts where it belongs.

See you later. We won't give up!

---
p.s. For anyone who didn't get to read it, here is a slightly modified version of the card poem,

With this time spent preparing to say
“Don’t Give Up Now (or ever!)”
It has been such a joyous pleasure and
Privilege to share in together.

Memories, movements, and breaths we make,
Words and views to a beat,
Echoes to encourage the delegates
And convey a love complete.

We thank our Creator for these joys and gifts,
To him we do applaud!
And create a sound for all to hear
The name of Jehovah, our Happy God.

So with dear friends It’s Not Goodbye;
These bonds will never sever.
Let us keep the pace, endure to the end,
And make music to our God forever.

We want to say a special thank-you
For patiently leading us through song,
Working hard to shape the music,
Expressing confidence all along.

We now go on with kind reminders
And prayers we’ll never know in tow.
Time to “look up!”, leave room for the Spirit,
And the love will show!

--

Note: This blog has no affiliation any organizations. The contents of this blog do not reflect the stance or statements of any organizations. The contents of this blog are purely my own personal thoughts and feelings.

Poet(ess)

Call me a poet or poetess it doesn't matter to me; in my field males and females do the exact same thing. I feel like it is as arbitrary as asking that my title specifies the shade of my skin or that I am a brown-eyed poet as opposed to any other colour. That aspect of me biology is arbitrary, and whether or not I would choose to wear coloured contacts is equally arbitrary. 

(If I were a dog however, I might ask you include that in the description.)

Poison

The best lies are mixed with truths

As the best poison with your favourite food.

Seasoned with what you want to hear,

And threats to take what you hold dear.

Serve it pretty as a delicacy,

Tasted only if you chew carefully.

(You are what you eat and it's do or die
For both the eater and one caught in a lie.)

I just realized that memes are inside jokes of the Internet.

---

      Dancing in the kitchen with my sister to You're the One I Love just because that hilarious vine with the guy who ends up looking really weird.

Little Light

     I feel like most people have a little light inside of them... our lights can increase or dim in their glow over much time, but usually it is just a matter of layers. Some people have a naturally brilliant glow that may be covered, but is impossible to smother; and I feel like those are that way because they have a great potential to touch other people.

"People light a lamp and set it, not under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it shines on all those in the house. Likewise, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your fine works and give glory to your Father who is in the heavens." - Matthew 5:16, 17

     We are to "let our light shine". This illustration suggests not being a show-off, but to light up the lives of others.

To Not Compensate

     It takes bravery to be true; to not compensate for fear, for ideas and people that are wrong.

     It's too easy to push for all or nothing.

     Be careful, but do not compromise. Let the truth speak for itself, in time people will understand. That is how you live.

Bleeding Watercolour

I like watercolour because it's about making the most of emptiness.

The depth you truly envision does not come easy, you have to bleed into it. Some mistakes are irreparable and some details are completely out of your control, but it is all part of the beauty.

Things to remember to do as a parent someday

• Let your child choose their art/instrument/and/or sport and encourage them to keep it up (but don't be forceful). If you can, learn it with them or teach them if you already know. Inspire them by playing music or making art yourself, going on family jogs and hikes, etc.
• Read together, both fiction and nonfiction. Let them choose a bedtime story.
• Invest in giving them Lego to play with. It will increase creativity, special sense, and believe it or not, social skills. (Include a few of the extras like characters and animals). Build with them and make an album of your creations
• Teach then to be ambidextrous
• Teach your child to clean up after themselves. They'll thank you later.
• Teach your child to empathize, wanting others to be happy but sticking to what's right. In the end that's what makes everyone happy, including and especially Jehovah. 
• Never put down having an imaginary friend, but encourage them to bring that friend with them when meeting others.
• Make up stories together, and write them down.
• Organize memories into simple albums/scrapbooks/folders (Have digital and hard copy). Show that experiences are more important than things.
• Never stop saying "I love you"
• Also have a sponsored child they can be pen pals with.
• Encourage them to try something like a lemonade stand. (Give them the option to do it to earn a WWF animal, perhaps)
• Make them a Neopets account to teach money and time management
• Never name-call.
• Adopt a cat or dog
• Donate together (eg: be ready with granola bars in Toronto, change for charities, have a sponsored child)
• Go in service together.
• Never complain about Daddy, or compare them to him in a negative way. "You're just like your father" should never be said in a negative tone, only positive.
• Give them two or three options for things such as what to wear. Don't force them to wear something specific, let them express themselves, but don't make choosing overwhelming
• Cook together; keep it fun and light.
• Spontaneously show appreciation for eachother and others. "Let's bake cookies and write a card for the Ys today!"
• Don't vent to your children, ever. Keep them in the loop with important things that are happening if it is appropriate, but don't give them anxiety or make them feel responsible for things they are not.
• Don't even keep junk food in the house. Go out for a special treat once in a while.
• Let them choose their room colour and style, and help them learn to keep it simple and tidy.
• Let them get a part time job as a teenager.
• Encourage working with your hands and cerebral activities, by not discouraging either
• Have a doodle page on the wall/white board and take photos when they want to keep the piece of art
• Have a consistent Family Worship night, and include fun, creative study activities
• Still be yourself. Don't ever feel like you have to be your own mother or use a "motherly" tone just because that's what mothers do. Say things like you mean it (like with Luna). You're now hippie-mommy.
• Talk about day and night dreams together, and write them down
• Keep your own journal and sketchbook, and encourage them to do the same as they grow older
• Praise effort and working hard more than talent
• Make friendship bracelets for eachother and other jewellery together (if they want to)
• teach balanced use of technology example
• Teach please and thank you for the meaning, including regular things like cooking a meal, or working so hard
• Throw mini, lowkey congratulations for family members for little achievements, like a special dinner or bonfire

• Face paint
• Go on little day trips
• Paint/draw together
• Learn songs together
• Teach the names of plants and animals as we see them, and discuss their traits, ask questions, like Shannon the naturalist did for me.
• Explore the world atlas book
• Teach from a young age what it means to be a Christian and why. Encourage q&a discussion
• Be a good example as not only parents but a couple. (That means he needs to be a loving, respectable spiritual head, and I have to follow his lead). Remember: "A woman's heart should be so deep in Jehovah a man must go through him to find her."

There are days when the sun buns and nights when we long for light, but never have I wished for either to disappear forever.

Period Cramps

Period cramps: The female body's way of punishing you for not conceiving a baby this month.