Mushroom omelette and berries

When I made the mushroom and onion omelette today I used half an onion, and sliced a large bowl of mushrooms.

It came out so good

I added a slight bit of salt to the mushrooms to release more water, but I think the difference this time is instead of letting be mushrooms just pojge up the margarine, when I put in the mushrooms I also added a bit of hot water. And then, that hot mushroom stewy stuff spread throughout the omelette.

My whole family liked it a lot and I am so glad.

I also added a bit of onion powder to the egg mix to spread the onions flavour 

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#journal part:

I made brunch this morning while listening from the other room to the convention.

This isn't what I planned to do, but after last night’s stress I naturally ended up starting preparing a giant mushroom omelette. Enough for everyone; 16 eggs. Lots of mushrooms. One and a half onions. Black pepper, salt, and paprika to deepen the colour and sweeten the flavour.

I just defaulted to this without thinking about it. But I realize I have historically done this before.

Tension?

Make food, good food.

A lot. Whether at home, or with [redacted]. Make their favourite foods, make it beautiful on the table if I can.

And generally default to making or creating something, if I find I am stuck. (But won't give up. Which by default I don't go to). 

Stuck?

Create.

No more good options?

Create one. Get to work.

Like the time I lost my tickets in the cart to the Hu concert, so I made fan art as an effort to get attention on the fandom’a website and someone may help me find tickets. 

Although as I painted that blue Horsehead fiddle, Gouchebin watercolour style, with gold acrylic accents, I got into a flow and even accepted that maybe what I get out of this to fulfil my interest most is making this painting and this is good... It did work. Mina Hans noticed my painting, loved it, and notified me the moment ticket resales came up.

Get to work. Create.

Make something to make it better.

Everyone already seemed to make up this morning on their own. There was even a group hug.

It was good.

--

#silverlining 

Not only are my glasses not broken, but it prompted me to adjust the nose pads more than I knew I could and now they fit way better than ever, not falling off half down my nose. Yay!

Hm. Does anyone else “try out” emojis or emoticons on their face before sending them in a text message? No? Just me?

Evidently. Otherwise we would see other people making faces like I do when I'm texting

:) ^_^ :3 *\ ^-^ /* 😊☺️🙂😌😝😜😞😓😟☹️🫤😢😃😀😄😁😆😂🤣😭😣😩😫😵‍💫🥴🤨😱🤔🫣🫡😮😧😦😯😲

Pressed flowers

 

Codifying Empathy; Love, and Jesus' Example of Sincere Love

I deeply appreciate how strongly my religious group has been emphasizing that a man abusing his wife, intentionally making her feel hurt either physically or emotionally and small about herself to make her do things for you, is not okay. This is one of the many things that there is something pretty weird about having to have a religion or even God tell you not to do to know not to do it.

So much of religion seems to be codifying empathy, I don't only not blame people who find something off, I am one of them because it is off that it has to be that and not just relationship with God directly. God made us with conscience with an arrangement with purpose. (The problem being that arrangement rejected now, for now).

Jesus though himself pointed out how mere check boxes cannot be the heart of faith, but that acceptable worship to God requires genuine love. (Not only rules, but principles, as our Bible discussions emphasize.)

Christianity has left a sour taste in many peoples' mouths at the ring of the name Jesus. For a good while I was among that group, but there are so many ways I could brightly and colourfully expressed how my feelings have been changed that way. The example of footsteps Jesus left for us to walk in not only to be good people but also have relationship with God in ways that are sincere, is exactly what so many people doing things for the wrong reasons are missing. 

Sparrows Encounter - Part 2 comtinuation

“The greatest of these is love,” so perhaps I should not be so ashamed of my compassionate love, agape, or whatever that looks like even now.

These Three Remain - Encountering Sparrows

Walking past the [plaza] closest to the doctor’s office, I was stopped in my tracks.

A house sparrow landed right in front of me, and then her mate, just a little behind her. She stared at me, cocking her head back and forth curiously.

I greeted her, and she didn't leave. Should you hopped closer, and kept looking me in my eyes. And kept looking me in my eyes.

thought of the scripture in The book of Luke chapter 12.

I searched my bag to see if I had any nuts and she came even closer lol.

At some point she gaped her mouth, seeming to ask if I have a snack.

Unfortunately I didn't have anything so I just stood there watching her back. After a brief moment, I crouched down and spoke to her, and her husband, again. He hopped around the area a little, but Neither of them left and she stayed close to me. 

I took two pictures of her before crouching and enjoying the moment, That went on significantly longer than any other sparrow encounter I have had before.

I know God is watching out for me, no less than his eye is on these birds. They are my family of earthly creation, too, fluttering everywhere and finding seeds.

~~

Seeing as I was on my way to the super Center, this is a perfect opportunity to grab something them healthy for them, and I'm sure it's going to be readily available in preparation for summer. Even the garden center is out.At the garden center a woman there. Also looking at the flowers. I noted they were very beautiful, and she saw me later selecting the same ones. 

She pointed out to me to cut off the dead flower heads when I get home and then the rest of it will flourish. 

I told her about my crab apple tree, and told her if she wants when the blooms become apples to come by and I will give her some, or she can pick them from over the fence if she prefers, too.

We exchanged contact information. Her name is ["K"], and she is so kind to strangers. (But in a way that is different in a good way from most of the strangers I end up talking to in the city.) 

What a gift to meet a kind stranger who appreciates nature. 

I will pray for her....

Jehovah knows what I need. He knows I want to be used to do good things, but my life to meet something good for him and for people.

“Now, however, these three remain: faith, hope, love; but the greatest of these is love.” - 1 Corinthians 13:13

~~

Today's title: 

These Three Remain - Encountering Sparrows 

(I know what I mean, when I say we are all sparrows.)

#poetry #love #bible

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The mums I got are yellow on the outside, soft purple in the middle, with rusted orange and white gradient rings between.

I remembered the coral mums he dropped off in the pot.

I remembered the pain of knowing; knowing over the coming days our future in this respect.

Hardly to be called a "memory," it is still here.

But these mums are beautiful. Even more, in some ways, or rather simply different or differently. Eyes and heart both play in, of course.

They are also "my colours" together, primary and secondary, N2 and I talk about <3

I wish things were different. But I guess things can still be okay.

3 Things That Have Helped Improve My Sleep

 

• Sleep stories - get sleepy on YouTube is probably my favourite channel. Whether to guide my mind through a sleepless night less left to its own devices to explore so many things I don't want it to, or to help actually lul me to sleep, Thomas Jones and friends genuinely changed my ability to sleep even on very terrible nights.

• A seven-pound weighted blanket. In the past I had only been familiar with much heavier ones and they didn't seem like anything I could possibly enjoy using. However, once trauma-related neurologic disorder was making my leg shake almost all the time and I couldn't not get the rest from it I needed, I revisited the idea of weighted. After all, I had started to find cuddly, cozy, and reassuring things comforting. Maybe in spite of my anti-hug history, feeling hugged as I sleep or try t sit or lie down could be good. Before this, I had never realized that the blanket considered probably best for you is based on a weight of 8-12% of your body weight or something, or known that they even came in such a variety of weights to choose from. I was torn between a 7lb and a 10lb, 

• Putting lotion on my feet generously - To prevent them from overheating (or cool them down when they do - applies to whole body, actually), and somewhat counter-intuitively prevent deep itch and as well as other skin conditions that can be associated with or worsened by dry skin, cracks, or lesions. Bonus: For extra moisture retention, put a pair of socks on afterwards. (I recommend cotton or bamboo fibers, rather than synthetic).

• Back-sleeping, and, side-sleeping wedges, respectively. For one thing, while I am not a highly bodacious gal by any means even I find putting the Back-sleeping half-cylinder memory foam pillow either under my knees, or as far back as under my upper thighs, can be really, really comfortable. After things deteriorated a lot, my thigjs and thinner as I lost a lot of weight, ans he too one "falling" more when lying sideaays may have contributed to the increase in pain and discomfort

• Traditional seeping mask. Bor only does this block even smaller amounts of light from sleeping through, but the traditional kind that is not raised above your eyes I find keep any eyes shut instead of instinctively opening them so much, including though not minutes to because of fears.

• Side-sleeping leg pillow for between the knees - as I lost a lot of weight, my thighs got quite thin and I feel like this has to do with feeling a little increased strain at times sleeping on my side. A pillow between he knees always helped, but this little handy foam wedge is shaped so optimally for that

• sit-up reading pilllow - growing up out family had one and now that I also have one, how is it a game changer not only for reading specifically and DS otting in bed when you're sick, but it has really upped my wind down game at night 🍵 

• Trying to do/complete journals before bed, and let bed be more of a true wj d-diw .

• Doing as much preparation and ginishing before something as possible, rather than scheduling getting yourself together and packing things, lunch, or whatever in the morning. (Or, having put-off tasks to hit first thing if it's avoidable enough to a reasonable degre.

On the Menu Today Sorta Recipes - I'm a vegetarian but made Worcestershire chicken for people

Recipes (to-taste style, as most on this blog are for the time being) on the menu today:

• Baked Lemony Asparagus - seasoned with olive oil, black pepper, lemon juice, paprika (regular), salt, a d garlic powder. Baked at 400-426 for about 40 minutes - had to open the oven and stir with tongs several times because the three packs of asparagus were super stacked on top of each other. 

• Baked Worcestershire chicken: 8 skinless boneless chicken thighs baked at 400°F for 30 minutes. Seasoned with olive oil, Worcestershire sauce (and a splash of water because I don't remember perfectly clearly what this tastes like from before so was vegetarian, but I remember it was intense), garlic paste, garlic powder, onion powder, one whole chopped onion in square-ish pieces and layers detached from one another, paprika, black pepper  (on the generous side), and a bit of dry chili flakes. - update: dad has called this “a winning recipe”! (Woo!)

• Mushroom and onion omelette - cooked half a white onion cut into very small pieces (used mom's trick from Instagram where you keep the stem part in tact, then cut vertical lines through the onion without going all the way through so the stem still holds it together, then cut across those rows

horizontally to cut little pieces easier) until mostly cooked in generous margarine, threw in maybe 7 cut medium-sized white mushrooms along with a splash of hot or warmed water poured stop the mushrooms to prevent it from being overly oiley. Cook well, and then add 5 eggs best together with about 5 tablespoons of cold water along with a generous black pepper and a little salt.

• Grandma's pasta, modified with frozen spinach added for extra iron and greens.

Chicken before and after:

Asparagus mid-way and after:

Mushrooms, and appearance in omelette:

Pic of Grandma's pasta:

Update On the Crab Apple Prayer - With Photos

Caption: Blossoms from trees, particularly, a crab apple tree I planted as a child.*

Words cannot describe how amazing this was.

I was outside for about five hours, photographing flowers, examining petals and taking in sun and sitting in shade and supervising Felix, then eventually seeing grandma and my mom and Daniel and the kids.

New “best day ever” for this year. (Oh my goodness. This is the same calendar date as the day I had... last year I called “best day ever”. This year is was a walk with Jehovah, and for lovely chunks of time N2 and members of my family.)

I took a million pictures and been posting on stories, and did a couple permaposts, too. 

I'm so happy right now.

The lawyer called back this morning as soon as I arrived at the tree and I used Google screening to tell them I'd call them back and I do not regret it.

When I first went up to the tree, I had been running around getting ready, and thought I just missed the pocket of sunshine. 

I was happy to be taking photos anyway even though it was a bit overcast, getting just a couple warmer photos, and honestly just so grateful to be able to see and touch my crabapple trees lush blossoms this year up close. 

Then the sun came.

And it has stayed... *all day*.

This. This is answered prayer, good gift, perfect present, true favourite kind of memory.

Thank you, Jehovah. 

Mom had asked me if I still feel feeling happy ever in my life is hopeless. “I don't think so right now”, I replied.

...I had taken photos with my crabapple tree at the beginning, with me in them/selfies, and they're not bad. But then at the end I went back out just after, feeling. So happy, to take a few more.

These ones are better, and brighter. And not only with the sun.

I took a bunch of video clips too, but one of my other favorite videos now is one where I rusted my phone standing up on the steps just across from the crabapple tree conveniently, and then did a video of me running over to my tree, swinging around it hand on its trunk and examining the flowers.

People say core memory to refer to things in childhood. This feels like a core memory, today; and this video feels like a video of core memories all al the same of time both from my childhood, and now 🩷

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*Will hazard to guess, more photos to come lol.

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More, which took about five seconds to start being updated:

Food pic I unarchived. A friend, DK, forwarded it into a group chat I'm in and said he will pay $100 to have this delivered 😂

Core memory 🍎 

(stills from the video)