Pride is expensive.

Deeper Roots

What once began growing from sadness has become deep-rooted joy. Dig deeper; move forward.

"I want to cry over this loneliness but it seems even my tears have all left me."

Habits

One of my weaknesses is that I do not so easily fall into habits, and one of my strengths is that I do not so easily fall into habits.

Whenever I'm sad I read a little notepad of sticky containing messages from friends from an orchestra. I really miss them.

Update later this month: I saw them :). It has gotten to the point where I have memorized what most of them wrote.

Swimmers and Musicians

I like musicians and swimmers. You have to have soul to be a musician or a swimmer.

When I play music I like to think of water, and sometimes it's like I can see shapes like calligraphy lines or watery shapes.

Carry a better world inside of you, let it come out through your eyes.

I hate waking up from a nightmare only to realize it was a memory.

I wonder how many of them didn't really want to die but just wanted to stop hurting people.

Little did they know they were setting them all up to be hurt every day for the rest of their lives.

There are periods of peace before it all falls back to pieces.

Free Spirits

There was an image on the internet that says "free spirits don't have favourite colours". No, free spirits don't let people tell them they can't have a favourite colour to be a free spirit smh

~~~

Being a free spirit has nothing to do with aligning yourself with a pre-established stereotype, following a certain style or preset school of thought or taking a particular political stance. It is quite the opposite, it's about not being enshackled by things that you don't truly believe in, about being true to your values instead of giving into pressure to compromise.

Cute little girl on the bus II

Cute little toddler on the bus: From her stroller mimic her mom on the phone... with her shoe

Her tight afro curls are streamed into banded pigtails and twists of different shapes with colourful hair ties. As he mom puts the phone in front of her mouth the girl brings the Velcro of we shoe to her own, and places it down as her mum finished the phone call.

Answer to Quora Question: Why are there women against feminism?

This wouldn’t be everyone’s reason, but there seems to be a common swing to causes:

• Often the instigator of a good cause begins a movement acting in principle, and then over time lots of people jump on the bandwagon and take it to a point where it violates another principle.

Unfortunately, in many cases passionate but extreme actions and expressions have invalidated and alienated people from good causes.

When I worked for an organization promoting gender equality I would sometimes talk to men and women who said they did not like feminism, but when they elaborated it often translated to disliking the extreme degrees and methods some feminists take to.

For example, we were there to talk about issues including child marriage and female genital mutilation. However when one young lady heard “girls’ and women’s rights” the image that was first evoked in her mind was overall privileged women claiming that sanitary napkins are oppressive, and walking around with period blood running down their legs. That put her off.

Despite any good intentions, individual activists inadvertently took the focus away from very extreme issues and put the spotlight on extreme antics.

It got attention, but the violation of their society’s standards of hygiene drew more negative attention and ended up reflecting badly on/invalidating good causes that deserve to be taken seriously.

Posted to lunar-winds April 28, 2018. Answered on Quora Sept 13, 2017

While on one hand the "liking" system of social can reaffirm and validate truths, or be a means to show appreciation and support, something scary about it is that it teaches people the more conventional the better.

Answer to Quora question: How can I increase my introverted intuition (INFJ)?

While I get where the answers that “if you’re really an INFJ it should happen naturally” are coming from, I have to disagree if the case is that you struggle with long-term anxiety.

When we experience stressful situations that tends to be when we have to learn to use our lower functions; it illustrates how difficult situations help us grow and learn to be more matured, well-rounded individuals.

However, when someone is depressed or anxious people will often say they are “not themselves”. They may stop doing what actually would be most natural to them and get “stuck” in their lower functions.

Basically, if you’re down in the dumps your top function can feel out of reach.

If you do struggle with anxiety then I’d say best way is to

1. work on reducing/managing anxiety, and 2. be patient with yourself .

As everyone else already has said you can’t force it, but working towards Ni-conducive environments can help. These are no magical Ni-boosters but it could help to hang out with an INTJ or ENFJ friend, write concise journal entries, or rekindle old interests or find a new one and let yourself be absorbed in it.

And one more, probably the most important: Try not to think about it too much.

Don’t label your actions as S or N. Go with your gut. As everyone else has already mentioned over-thinking (as INFJs are often prone to) is not going to help. And if thinking about anxiety makes you more anxious then maybe commiserating with Beth Evans’ comics on occasion might help make light of otherwise bitter coffee breaks.

Posted to lunar-winds on April 28, 2018, originally answered on Quora Sep 12, 2017

While on one hand the "liking" system of social can reaffirm and validate true thoughts that often go unsaid, something scary about it is that it teaches people the more conventional the better.

Not only are people often inclined to attach their self-worth to the number of likes they get, but posts are ranked and featured based on their popularity and number of people who "like" it. It reflects a negative aspect of our society where people are awarded for popularity, and that award is easily quantifiable.

Despite how it may come across I'm not anti-social-media and believe it actually can strengthen the quality of relaionships and create meaningful interactions that would not be otherwise possible. However, I think it's important for us to use it as more than just a way to pass time. To scroll slower and spend more time lingering, thinking about, and maybe discussing what we see, this way there is a takeway beyond a few pixels that form a little shape.

If a person is anti-the-direct-consequences of an action, does that make the person also anti-that-action?

An Expression To God -6 September 2017 - (Untitled)

You're the light of my life

Your son the water I drink

Silencer to all the disquieting things that I think

You've given me air

And the warmth you've put in my bones

Which has grown to be a fire that I cannot ignore

How could I ask you to give more than you already have?

Yet here I am again asking strength from your hand

You've given us this earth

But in my whole life I've never felt at home

But as long as I'm with you I'll never be alone

So long as you're with me I'll never be alone

I gave up fearing the grave

For all the coldness inside of me told me I wasn't afraid

Even without hope all I have is one request,

For privilege to know you is all I need to feel blessed.

If you saw me as a sparrow my soul would feel at rest.

But then I ask for more please to heal the broken world,

Through a saviour for the oppressed and for the little boys and girls.

And as for myself I dare not ask for more to see,

But I would be so happy if you'd only remember me

(To remain within your memory).

When I'm long gone if my soul you called to mind

What kind of being would your memory find?

I hope you'd remember me as a friend

Always that way right down to the end

So Jehovah please restore the world you have made,

Forgive us our debts your son has repaid,

So then the universe will be in peace once again

And all will know you as Almighty God, Father, and Friend.

It was the kind of night where just before you fall asleep you remember that you forgot something and can't remember what it is, then suddenly become aware of how you need to wash your hair.

Most nights the moon is made brought by reflecting the sun, but during a solar eclipse the sun is made uniquely beautiful by the moon.

Chrome's Stargazer

Today I took a moment to admire the scenery of my Stargazer Google Chrome theme. It's a simple yet a wonderful piece of art, it makes me feel a certain way. I feel content, relaxed, and perhaps as happy as the little guy in the red shirt.

Stargazer Google Chrome theme. Credit: Google

What is it about images of clouds and a starry night sky that I find so comforting? I think it's more than just conditioning; in addition to associating the simple cartoon look and gentle colour scheme from simpler times of life I think the stars puts us in the place of bedtime and being outside in the fresh air observing nature, and being so high up in the clouds far away from everything would be so peaceful, and so quiet. And the little character adds the perfect touch; I can both vicariously relax on a cloud through him, feel the happiness form his smiling face, and even feel less lonely.

Cute Little Girl on the Train

This little girl made the otherwise stressful 4-hour commute so much better.

On the train:

*Train stops*

Cute Little Girl: Why did we stop? Are we out of gas?"

*Everybody chuckles mixed with awes*

Cute Little Girl:I think we're out of gas

*train starts again slowly later*

Cute Little Girl: Why are we going slow?

*train goes under bridge*

Cute Little Girl: Is this under ground? Is this supposed to be scary?

True justice and the best kind of freedom is not about having no values, but about having the right ones.

Mental Reset Button

Even though I'm not in school anymore, autumn always seems to push a mental reset button. Something about the colours and the cooling air, and saying farewell to all the Canada geese.

The Weight of The World Dialogues

I'd rather have a heart heavy with the weight of the world than one that is empty.

"Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"If more people helped it wouldn't feel so heavy."

"You can't change the whole world. It won't make a difference."

"We might not change the whole world, but at least we can change somebody's world. It will make a world of a difference to them."

Go With Your Gut

More than once many people have been asked, "When in doubt, do you follow your head or your heart?"

Even acknowledging the obvious that we all use both logic and emotions and may favour one over the other in certain situation, I still choose a different answer:

Gut.

Your gut is like that friend that your head, heart, and conscience whisper secrets to, so it has a better perspective of the big picture.

Gut knows the deepest darkest emotions Heart won't consciously admit to Brain. It knows the potential consequences Heart can't bear to hear, and Gut listens to your conscience even when Heart is being selfish and Brain is being cold.

It may not be flawless, but your gut won't lie.

Go With Your Gut, Continued

Sometimes I find it hard even just to tell what my gut is telling me to do, and in those cases I'll sometimes write out a little dialogue between them all (Brain and Head tend to be used interchangeably) and maybe even add a comment from a vapid and exhausted Melody. (Very much like The Awkward Yeti, which is an amazing comic strip by the way).

Heart: Let's keep writing about this!
Brain: No, we must wrap this post up with a proper conclusion.
Gut: Let's stop while we're ahead.
Heart and Head: Did you say, "a-HEAD?"
Heart: (sarcastic) No fair.
Head: How ironic.
Gut: Pun not intended.
Me: They're like children.
Gut: The tone of this post is changing, stop. Let's turn it into two separate posts.
Me: And now you know the two Go With Your Gut posts were originally one.