Sarcastic people make themselves so vulnerable

The thing about sarcasm is that it is a way that people not only play on intuition and intelligence, but it is a personal protection because the sarcaster doesn't ever have to say any of the words that scare them or make them feel vulnerable. The ball is always in the other's court, yet the control of the conversation in retained.

Queen Piece

I don't want to be controlled by another human like a chess piece. But for God I want to be like a queen piece; ready to go in any direction and to any length he moves me.

Is water wet?

Is it?

3 Reminders for a Positive Attitude

See challenges as opportunities to respond right.

~~

Even when a good plan of action fails, fall back on a plan of a good attitude.

~~

The things that burn also give you fire.

Credentials —Homo sapien

Credentials: I have been a homo sapien for 21 years, my whole life; in fact it runs in the family.

     I come from a long line of homo sapiens that successfully reproduced too, in fact I would even be the first to not have offspring.

Answer 20 Quora question: What is the benefit of an INFJ or INTJ in seeing the "big picture" when investing time in a task? Why is this so important?

Understanding the big picture enables a person to balance connected ideas, values, and information beyond what might be immediately apparent. I t can contribute to making decisions based on long-term benefit and optimize, making the most efficient decision, and one a person might feel most at peace with (INTJ vs INFJ wording…?)

For INTJs and INFJs specifically sharing Ni as their highest function, big-picture perspective makes for a well-oiled mental machine, and helps them process information at their best.

Like having a map instead of only using step-by-step instructions, it can also help you find alternate routes around unexpected obstacles, or foresee obstacles and plan in advance to avoid them.

~~~

This post was my first A2A and very stressful to write and was posted to Quora Dec 18, but to l-w April 28, 2018

"She lives in a world that validates someone else's struggles, but not her own."

"She lives in a world that validates someone else's struggles, but not her own."

I am often put on a pedestal for getting through my own set of struggles. They are the type that my society accepts as a "real" struggle, even if it's not being able to afford food. But there are girls I know who are very insecure because of the struggles they have and the struggles they don't. Neither of us are lacking the basic necessities of life, but my struggles are accepted by society as "real" and hers are dismissed.

People give me support because my stories is easier to understand and have become easier for me to tell, but her cries for help are perceived as attention-seeking.

My struggles gave me the opportunity to get out a lot of awkward immaturity out when I was still a kid (not all of them but a lot of it) so I can look forward knowing that I can handle the next set of tough stuff on the horizon.

But she was not tempered the way I was, so she can see struggles on the horizon and is facing some right now but cannot hold onto the confidence from past experience that she will be strong enough to get through them.

Everyone has a hard fight, but in my opinion between the two of us she got the short end of the stick.

3 feet of curly conformity

The best hate comment I've received since leaving high school is being called a "conformist" for having long hair.

Yes, 3 feet of curly conformity at its worst.

Problem with the word 'tomboy'

Here goes: I have a problem with the word 'tomboy'.

People who use it do not generally mean any harm, and I took it on as a badge of pride when I was bullied as a preteen but the words in that label imply that any of those things that made me a 'tomboy' make me less of a girl, less of a part of who I am.

I am no less female because I like sports, or being tough, or going without makeup, or because of the clothes I like to wear. I am not a girl who is like a boy; I simply am a female who likes those things and no less that part of myself for having different traits, interests, or style from what is expected of young women in our society.

Who would have thought that when my grandmother kept mistakenly saying "tombogirl" instead of "tomboy", that she was right all along.

Edited Feb 17, 2018

When I straighten my hair

I both enjoy and despise how much nicer strangers are to me when I straighten my hair and wear more fashionable clothing.

Sometimes I'll change up my look just because I feel like doing something different, to feel fresh, and there is nothing unhealthy about that. But here is a confession: When I straighten my hair is it's usually when I don't feel I can shoulder any more, and I do it so other people will treat me nicer, To make things easier for myself.

Because even if it's not on purpose, people are nicer to pretty people.

I resent myself for dressing up for doctor's appointments so they take my health problems seriously instead of saying, "it's just stress." When I dress up, they try to see "how we can help you."

While conducting a social experiment, with curly hair in a grocery store I have to chase down associates to ask for help finding something. With straight hair, I was standing in an aisle comparing jars of salsa and someone shelving asked if they can help me find anything. I'm sure the associate didn't mean to not ask someone with curly hair, but that's usually how it works out.

In the malls I am prime target for people calling out to sell hair straighteners, because boy I must need one.

The worst compliment I've ever received is "you'd look really pretty with straight hair", or with "makeup." And then when I do straighten my hair, "Have you considered doing this all the time?"

The most upbuilding criticism, "I liked it better curly."

I hate that when the rain pours and this all goes out of my control and the glam is gone, that is when people stop asking "can I help you?"

Thinking like a child

I miss thinking like a child. There is no old-school thinking or new-school thinking, everything is so new and it's all just thinking.

Alternate version:

Thinking like a child is so special. There is no old-school thinking or new-school thinking, everything is so new and it's all just thinking.

"The saddest part is that she never really loved..."

"The saddest part is that she never really loved him, she only loved the way she looked through his eyes."

I don't want more money

I don't want more money, I want a simpler life.

~~~

People have tried to have me sign up for pyramid schemes saying "aren't you interested in making more money?"

I wish I had told them that the Bible has shown me how to be content with less. Maybe they would have been happier right now.

Cataract

(In conversation about a kitten with hererochromatic eyes)

Mom: It looked like it had some sort of film over the eye that might have affected the colour.

Me: Did it have a cataract maybe?

Mom: No it was too young for that.

Me: So a kitten-aract?

Canada Geese

The geese at night.

This is my version of tradition.

It has been a hard year like many others, but as I lie in bed and hear the familiar cacauohany of flocks of Canada geese on the lake I feel my heartbeat slow.

This sound is what I call home.

Even if someday I cannot live in this place, I will feel I belong beside the sounds of all the voices of dozens of geese all talking at the same time on their journey to fly away to a more hospitable place.

Canada geese will take my heart with them, where it is safe.

So no matter how harsh the winter, or how much our lake will freeze

They will tow this heavy heart made lighter by warmer currents in the breeze

And by their teamwork;

By the flock leader creating a lift through their wings,

Lifting hearts and let them sing.

They take the colder part of my heart somewhere warmer for the winter without fee.

Beloved Canada geese, with all your loyalty do have a wonderful journey

As you follow the earlier sunshine.

My lips are chapped and burned

fingertips white and cold

My lips are burned my fingers cold and froze

"Soy Milk Sister"

Conversation between my sister and I. The context is my mom bought these glasses but then didn't like them when she took ten out of the box, and my sister said they look like "wine mom" glasses, and then explains the tumblr concept.

There are wine moms, beer dads... and once the guy chimed in and said "I'm a weed cousin"

I am a soy milk sister

If you ever have a tumblr blog please call it that

Description: "Plot twist: I'm allergic to soy milk"

I think you could survive the waters of Tumblr

I am the water

Thank you to people who in both past and present have helped me be an optimist

I grade four my teacher explained to us what optimists, pessimists, and realists are. She used me as te example of an optimist, and the class unanimously agreed and I felt bad accepting what Ifeel is a great compliment. After all the ways I was annoying an dumb and would embarrass myself and say thoughtless things and accidentally hurt people, honestly throughout life I feel everyone else were the positive ones. Tht they were so much more forgiving of me than I deserve, and maybe it is then who made me the optimist, the ones who made me see the best in everyone else because they first gave that to me, despite perhaps a natural inclination towards despair.

I like putting up a fight, but I will be temped to distance myself from someone if they love me, cutting myself off when I feel inadequate. It is something hard to fight, it is the not positive part of me that the positive part fights. The optimist those people nurtured. (Including the realists).

Someday hopefully I can say this in person, but for now in case one of those many friends and even not close peers and mentors and others who chose to see the good in me and by example helped teach me to be more positive and forgiving, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Wild of Your Mind

Dreams. When you truly are alone with your thoughts, and those thoughts are less who you are and more what goes on inside you when your will is gone.

They run wild, and in all their beauty and hideousness they can touch you and hurt you just as much as any reality can, leaving you to make to either disappointment or relief that it is over.

Some people say they reveal hidden desires. Some might, but I would disagree with anyone who says the contents of dreams are limited by anything, that they inherently represent something. The wild of your mind is not limited to the infrastructure you have given it, it is sparked by any inspiration including desire or disgust, fear or hope, images or sounds or scent or passing faces or a word. The imagination is yours, but it is not inherently you.

It is not like a garden or even a maintained forest; it is untouched by decisive hands regardless of how pure their motives would be. It is a wilderness that invites you to get lost in it.

The Creator's set —As To Wildflowers

To give them the tools to conclude themselves that God is one.

To allow a genuine closeness to be born

And impart knowledge to children so they need never feel lost.

That is part of why a family is, in the way the Creator set built on true love and respect,

Growing naturally even if not quick yet,

As to wildflowers is air, water and sun.

*Puts on favourite underwear*

Battle-ready.

Mother, aware —As To Wildflowers

If only to be good mother, aware,

Remembering to know myself while looking beyond my own nose.

Breathe in the scents without being overtaken

Or leaving my true love or children forsaken.

Lovingly create for what together three made,

Flowing sincere without drifting away,

As to wildflowers is water, sun and air.

A good father —As To Wildflowers

I have met many boys who will someday be good men and loving fathers.

But part of being a good father to my children

Includes being a good husband to me.

Together we can show what our real, caring love is,

That is part of what is best for our kids,

As to wildflowers is air, sun and water.

Artistic inspiration is the kind of thing that comes and goes...

The kind of thing that comes and goes; it's all part of the natural flow.

Apnea / Breathing Techniques

In case you haven't figured this out already, I love poetry. However, I was just invited to a poetry reading with just most of my  peer acquaintances and kinda feel like throwing up.

I participated in a poetry reading once and it felt like standing up naked in front of a bunch of strangers; not that I'd actually know what that's like, but the only thing more terrifying I can imagine is doing the same thing but in front of a large group of acquaintances.

Writing is like breathing, but it's hard to breathe naturally under long-term anxiety. When I was a kid I'd sometimes have a hard time breathing. Literally. I saw a speech therapist as a child because inconsistent, shallow breaths fragmented, sentences and even words at. Times. It was caused by anxiety, and the therapist taught me breathing techniques and exercises. Time and time again speech therapists, counsellors, music teachers and cross country coaches taught and retaught me breathing techniques.

Now whether it is for diving or flute or moments like these where maybe it's been a really rough week but I really want to just get over it with a positive attitude, I have to remember the same thing in order to move forward: breathe.

Apnea / Breathing techniques

Some people prefer to read

But for some to write is to breathe,

Some here have a beautiful voices when they comment and speak.

But I will speak here and my voice will shake

And consider every nuance a mistake,

Keep my eyes open tonight and take away sleep,

Be my apnea and tomorrow leave me weak,

    From breathing like a freediver going 50-feet deep

Because I can't breathe

But then I remember breathing techniques

From speaking school, therapy.

Learning to play winds musically,

And running to find eternity.

As we are running so we have to breathe

Laboured although it may be

In this this world it can feel we can’t breathe,

But we have book with breathing techniques.

(And I’ll bet you know the book I mean)

But how do we run there if we feel like we can't even breathe?

We have brothers who face this, though hard to see.

Brothers and sisters like you and me,

Strangled by trials, illness, anxiety.

Moses and Jonah felt how we feel,

Breathe to run to the tower for the life that is real.

Still standing here now it's hard to breathe,

But many here most likely know what I mean.

But with some practice freediving isn't all bad,

Open eyes catch light

Under surf rolling rad,

The colours, life, art with mind's eye to see

So while you're here remember to marvel at the deep.

With any pressure in your ears even if you feel like a plain blue,

Remember even Dory made something special of "I spy something blue."

So make the most of this good gift we could never earn,

But make mindful practice with other breathing techniques to learn.

Take a mindful breath,

Try not to overthink,

Enough to rise again

And flow you won’t sink.

Let's marvel at the diversity, all the exotic fish,

(But not quite like Jonah's, or one on a dish)

Do accept this gift happily

And even with apnea, flow swimmingly.

Well the poem is here now. Guess this mean's I'm going.

"So I win either way"

"You'll either find it really interesting or say, "I fell asleep""

"So I win either way."

"I could completely picture you saying that."
(Aren't I a great friend?)

"It's only clothes. The most important things happen on the inside."

The Hand You've Been Dealt

Some people see life like a game of chess, but I prefer to see it as a game of cards. You do your best with the hand you've been dealt, and the ultimate goal is to have all the cards on the table.

Feeling blue and other lovely moods

Feeling blue and other lovely moods

Cup of Tea

Friend: *bring specialty chamomile tea, which I like to drink at night*

Me: *accidentally picks a different tea* "Oh no, I'm sorry I meant to try the one you brought"

Friend: No worries!

Me: Though it is usually my cup of tea