Billboard

I don't want to feel like a billboard walking out the front door
(I have always loved freckles and) I would rather my skin be branded by the sun,
Branded by moments spent doing what I love.

You'd rather take a memory than a photograph
But a simple photo itself wouldn't be bad,
But a photo that makes you feel a certain way
Not for a number,
Not to be a "liking" fad.

Not to look away from the day to look a certain way.

All these things attached to a "look".
All these strings attached for "a look".
Don't ever let the tags on strings attached to clothes
Matter more to you than the person
Who wove them together.
Don't ever the shape of the cotton matter more
Than the ground that gave it to you, ever.
Don't look away from the why,
Don't let your eyes be taken by all the "I"s,
Don't break your neck for an app,
Don't miss all the pictures in the clouds in the sky,
Oh don't let it all pass you by.

That is not what you were made for,
That wouldn't do our Maker right,
The body wasn't made to be a billboard,
Eyes not made to only see artificial light.

What would you trade for a look?
To look like you could be on a billboard?
Please answer "nothing". Don't look like an advertisement,
In a moment you'd be right to be bored with that kind of look.

What would you trade for a look?
A look at the way we were made to live?
A look at a better beautiful world?
That is something worth looking for,
And I see that is what you are looking for.

What you wear doesn't make the words you speak,
I'd rather wear my heart on my sleeve,
I'd rather see you
Clothed with love and sincerity.
Wear the words that you speak,
(Practice what you preach,
Put on the new personality,)

This is what we seek here.

Sketching your face

What would you be without all the layers of rough strokes and retracing that make up your portrait?

You would merely be an outline of who you are today.

All those rough layers that seemed so wrong on their own, even building on mistakes, have come together to show depth, motion, and character.

Everything that is blue

"I can sum up everything that reminds me of you in some way in two categories:

Everything that is blue, and

Everything that is not blue."

Cadence

"I will always love you a certain way

But no it will never be the same

And so today comes the moment you foresaw

When I walk away.

The end already slipped away without a trace

And what we had died quietly

Passed peacefully in its sleep.

This moment is crushing

But only weep if you feel you want to weep,

For it already closed with a lovely cadence

A quiet justice for its grace.

Please be happy for these steps we've taken,

Though it will never be the same

In the end it will be okay."

You have no idea how much I wish you said such words to me,

Instead leaving me possibly forever

Listening for a cadence

That would come

Never.

Pets are basically animals with Stockholm syndrome.

Friend: She had a chip on her shoulder

Me: A Sweet chili Thai sour cream?
Friend: No, if it were that flavour I would have eaten it which would have been awkward.

Blue and Coral

Some days I could sink a ship with my navy (blue) mood

Drag it down, such a downer in the dumps

While my coral peach

Feels so out of reach.

It is possible to write in different colours even with only one kind of ink.

Take a cue from the waves

Take a cue from the waves

That know so well how to break

But always rise again.

~~~

Water swallows a ship whole

To hold it deep inside forever

Yet a little pebble can skip over

To rest wherever it rathers.

Let it sink, let it skip,

Everything past defences

Everything will slip

But there is something special in the way it will sink

To dwell alone and sink slow.

You don't have to know

What to think

For water will still flow

You don't have to know

What to think

To let go.

Any kind of love

This love is too real, of too much substance

To slip through the cracks.

It would have to be ripped away

This heart would have to be ripped clean out.

(To be added to...)

Hands in my pockets

Burying my hands in my pockets

With lots of little notes

Of things I wish I said when I had the chance,

Hiding my hands

So they don't see what they didn't do

While they had the chance.

Goal in life: Never say "you people" in a negative sense.

Never tell my children to keep secrets from their father, but talk to them about when and how it would be best to tell him.

(Scrolling through music libraries)

Friend: Do you have The Cranberrjes?

Me: Yeah they're in the fridge, want some?

Friend:

(hates the fruit)

One of those mornings when you don't know if you can get out of bed because your heart is just so heavy.

Cooking with music on makes me happy.

Invisible Wind

I am the wind, and

"Learn to let go"

Is all I've ever known.

It is my job

To rise

In the fall,

To bring in the cold

And pick up the pieces,

To warm the land

Then be a refreshment from the sun

Present day or night

Dark and light

Every phase

Though out of sight.

Flowers for another day

I don't know where you sleep

To leave flowers on your grave,

So I'll save the red ones

To give you after the last day.

For there are no flowers in heaven

As far as we know

But when you're back we'll can talk

And find a new coconut tree to talk beneath

Do not wait for "too late"

Sometimes I get scared thinking about how any time you speak to somebody, it could be the last; what you say could even be the last words they hear. 

Don't wait for "too late."

Head First (Pun)

Agent 22: I want to be smart about the situation but also want to dive in, Head first

Agent 21: See then you can say you are using your head in the matter, even putting it first

Animal Family

      Luna and Virtute just had their first, most authentic sweet moment. There was a sound that scared Luna awake, sending her running and leaping towards the window like a hurdles athlete swiftly leaping to action. The activity scared Virtute too, and left her tail puffed and hairs along her exotic patterned back spiked up as she stared down Luna. Eventually Luna did not hold her breath and calmed and returned to her blanket on the couch, but Virtute still seemed troubled. She slowly stepped out from the folds on my lap and made her way over to Luna. With her fur still offed like that I thought maybe it'd be smart to hold he back, but something told me not to. Their eyes seemed gentle, almost caring or affectionate towards eachother. Luna reached out her nose without changing her flopped position, as office gingerly paved over. Then they each touched the tips of their noses together, and looked in each of the other's eyes with a soft expression. Then Virtute carried on and Luna out her head back down to lick her own leg.

      It almost seemed like they were comforting eachother. #memories

       And now as Luna continues to chill in her place, Virtute is stepping. ver my arm to demand attention, purring loudly, and Luna doesn't even seem jealous. Virtute presses her surprising wet, cold nose against the skin above my thumb and rests her chin even though her head bobs as I type on this tiny keyboard, and Luna is drifting off back to a sleep.

      Luna's eyes are open lazily, and I whisper, "good girl Luna" and her eyes brighten and her stubby tail wags like a giggle, and she gets back to grooming herself.

      The quiet is interrupted only by Virtutes purr like a cotton all motorcycle, and Luna's snorty, contented sighs and slapping over her tongue.

      The air doesn't move except with Virtute's moist, rhythmic breaths against my hand, and the only motion across the room from us is Luna's breathing and shifting back off to sleep.

       Again Virtute crawls out from between my arms and steps over to Luna, but this time putting her nose to her face. Luna wakes quickly and they exchange a look meaning who knows what, but both sit in their place just looking at eachother.

      Could try already love eachother, even though Virtute only stoves a couple days ago?

       It looks like Virtute wants a cuddle but doesn't know how to ask.

      After a moment Lina puts her head back down and Virtute returns to her place across my arms and lap, still purring without letup since she began and Luna is nestled in her blanket drifting off to anther dreamland once more.

      But this is already a dreamland.

      This is a family. #memories #lunarwinds Published 2021-04-09

Customer: (talking about if he were to hit a deer with this motorbike)... and the last thing I could say is "oh dear"
Chocolate Runner: The pun....
Me: I'd give you a buck for that one

Friend alias = "Chocolate Runner"

Chocolate Runner: Where is the canary district anyway?

Me: Beside the Budgie District probably.

Chocolate Runner: Are you sure it's not the parrot district?

Animal Family

      Luna and Virtute just had their first, most authentic sweet moment. There was a sound that scared Luna awake, sending her running and leaping towards the window like a hurdles athlete swiftly leaping to action. The activity scared Virtute too, and left her tail puffed and hairs along her exotic patterned back spiked up as she stared down Luna. Eventually Luna did not hold her breath and calmed and returned to her blanket on the couch, but Virtute still seemed troubled. She slowly stepped out from the folds on my lap and made her way over to Luna. With her fur still offed like that I thought maybe it'd be smart to hold he back, but something told me not to. Their eyes seemed gentle, almost caring or affectionate towards eachother. Luna reached out her nose without changing her flopped position, as office gingerly paved over. Then they each touched the tips of their noses together, and looked in each of the other's eyes with a soft expression. Then Virtute carried on and Luna out her head back down to lick her own leg.

      It almost seemed like they were comforting eachother. #memories

       And now as Luna continues to chill in her place, Virtute is stepping. ver my arm to demand attention, purring loudly, and Luna doesn't even seem jealous. Virtute presses her surprising wet, cold nose against the skin above my thumb and rests her chin even though her head bobs as I type on this tiny keyboard, and Luna is drifting off back to a sleep.

      Luna's eyes are open lazily, and I whisper, "good girl Luna" and her eyes brighten and her stubby tail wags like a giggle, and she gets back to grooming herself.

      The quiet is interrupted only by Virtutes purr like a cotton all motorcycle, and Luna's snorty, contented sighs and slapping over her tongue.

      The air doesn't move except with Virtute's moist, rhythmic breaths against my hand, and the only motion across the room from us is Luna's breathing and shifting back off to sleep.

       Again Virtute crawls out from between my arms and steps over to Luna, but this time putting her nose to her face. Luna wakes quickly and they exchange a look meaning who knows what, but both sit in their place just looking at eachother.

      Could try already love eachother, even though Virtute only stoves a couple days ago?

       It looks like Virtute wants a cuddle but doesn't know how to ask.

      After a moment Lina puts her head back down and Virtute returns to her place across my arms and lap, still purring without letup since she began and Luna is nestled in her blanket drifting off to anther dreamland once more.

      But this is already a dreamland.

      This is a family.

      

Cats are such mooshy things. Mooshy lovely little things.

I'm very much for renewable energy, but more solar than wind because the side effects of wind turbines are concerning.

You could say I'm not a big fan.

"If I wrote in this notepad every time I thought of you, it would be a novel before spring."

     My dog Luna was running away from the vacuum cleaner, which she has a love-hate relationship with. Finally as she was trying to dash through the doorway I put up the sucker to we back and she stopped to get the vaccum massage and I declared triumphantly, "I've sucked you in!" 

Cooking with music on makes me happy.

Downhill

Full of people just looking for a

An easy way out

An easier rout

Elbow room and comforts for the hill the way down

They say it's all downhill from here

So just retire don't inspire because it's all downhill from 'ere

Oh how these optimists are making us feel

Oooh

Oooh

Ooooh ooooh

Oh

They say it's time to make a plan

To be rooted in your motherland

Not meaning the earth but rather financial plan

(Ew)

All these imaginary lines we drew up on a map

Who agreed to this?

Imaginary currency

It's all just a trap

It's currency but in the end you can't eat money

If you could build a house why would you mean money

The seed doesn't charge for its tree

As we have recieved we too give free

These streams don't charge for the water's clarity

Somebody erase those lines

Don't know about you but I'm looking for brighter times

And that's the reason that I'll work overtime

Concave

...And with time new experiences become the past

Solidify in time as you hold steadfast

Proving not just once, but time and time again

And then like waves carry you through the end.

No matter what's behind once you catch that wave

And carry through that tube when it's gone concave,

In your mind you'll know what is true

But you'll feel it know it's real

      And that your heart is too

      (Your heart is true)

And some days you're going to flip

Under confident or maybe even full of it

I know you're so afraid to fall

But with You-Know-Who by your side you

Don't need to fear at all

So don't be afraid of what you don't yet know

Feel it out

Take a breath

(Take a breath)

Take it slow.

This time

Will never come again

For when from now on you'll have a forever friend

Reading you past your face and knowing your heart

Just do the best, he'll do the rest (together you'll go far)

Let him be the one

Who takes you far

Sketch

Sketch

Oh what a good gift that it is

To have friends like you,

The kind of gift you can never earn,

But only attempt

So give all you can in return

Who will brave to start a conversation

Just to express their appreciation

To have me here,

How many days your words rescued me

When I didn't even want to be here.

Because you are

Brave enough to understand

When I don't make sense,

Ask a penny for your thoughts

Make that a half-pence

To take lead for in this ridiculous dance

Waltz around, talk me through

Yet still let me wear the pants 

For myself

Brave enough to explain something as a verbal sketch

Buzz words, Hail Mary with your words

Even if it sounds like a stretch

Understanding

Intuition

We paint a picture together

Word pictures

Listening close to every word

But not taking it for its own face

But as part of a bigger picture

Let you set the pace

Turn to eachother we know we'll listen

And understand

Beyond the individual words we've heard

And then we'll make a plan

Because you are

Brave enough to understand

When I don't make sense,

Ask a penny for your thoughts

Make that a half-pence

Take each our turns to do what we can

Brave enough to say enough when

It's time to take a stand

Together let's take a stand

As we listen but to understand

Oh if the whole world were such a land

Each doing all they can to help with their own hand

And we'll understand

Oh what a pretty picture of another land

Run Low

Catch a rhythm get the flow and let your base run low

Run low

Run low

Run low

See us gen Y to gen "zed" or "zee"

We want the bumps and all the flaws

See

Sincerity

We watch the glam all on TV

But doesn't make it real

Just 'cause it's 3D

Another dimension to a person

Not going to go with the flow if it's shallow

We search search for another layer another bottom line

Maybe dark down dark but for all of us that's just

Fine

We will break the flow

If it's not what we know

Ways to remember and show all that we think we know

Ooh how it gets me to my bones

When people are fake

When they lie

Even faking a mistake

Because they want to seem

Real

Oh the irony

But people do it 'cause we're scared

And want to put real flaws behind

Yes they're scarier but darling not even a bit worse than mine

So let's both be patient because we know the truth

Nobody hates when your fake

As much as you

So catch a rhythm get the flow and let your base run low

We won't take the highway

We'll just let it go

As we let it flow

Some people should have stayed infants. I mean some are no longer human larvae but are still babies getting their business all over the place and having other people clean up after them.

At least they'd still be kinda cute.

One of those mornings when you don't know if you can get out of bed because your heart is just so heavy.

It's funny how banana peppers, pineapples, and cherry tomatoes are named after other fruits.

Warm Secrets

I don't like secrets,

Especially for important things.

If someone deserves to know it will drive me mad until I tell them,

And I won't steer the conversation away.

But I do like keeping certain memories

And other kinds of thoughts secret. 

Keeping them inside almost feels like keeping them warm;

I don't want to expose such precious vulnerable things to the cold world, or to hardened, frost bitten ears

Of people with bitter hearts.

Especially if the thought is one shared with a friend, let's keep it between us.

We don't care for hot gossip,

But I like to keep warm thoughts

Private

Hidden

Untouched

Safe from the cold outside.

Colour of My Heart

A mood ring to keep me honest, and
Face that I feel a certain way.
And in its own way the colour almost says,
"And that is okay."

But God knows what's in my heart,
The true colour beyond what I say.
But when I think bigger and pray for his purpose,
That's when I most somehow feel "it's okay".

Playing Cards (Poem)

A robot beat me in chess,
My mother taught me Crazy Eights.
The one thing they'd both agree on
Is that there is no such thing as fate.

Black and white, control and compete,
Some say life is like a game of chess.
I prefer to see it as a game of cards:
With the hand we've been dealt each do our best.

Maybe slipping up and calling bluffs,
Not all going as planned.
At times putting on your best poker face,
But in the end to understand.

Interacting, guessing for insight,
Revealing as we feel able,
And in turn the goal is to lay it out
'Til all the cards are on on the table.

~~

Some people see life like a game of chess. I prefer to see it like a game of cards:
We all do our best with the hand we've been dealt, and the end goal is to have all the cards on the table.

Updated: 2020-05-16

January 4, 2018 - Published Journal Entry , "Half Breed"

"Half breed."

"Hmm, 'half breed.' Nobody has ever used that term with me before, but I like it."
(I didn’t say it with an attitude, it’s just that to me no after what word you make up to describe me as long as I am the definition I didn’t take it as an insult. No matter how much you mean for t to be one, any synonym for my race is not really an insult.) But after seeing his expression I understood.
It felt like taking the power back.
When we allow black people to say the n-word but restrict it from others, it allows the power that was stolen from this group of people to be returned. (published April 9, 2021)

Fondu at Sears

*At Sears closing sale*

Friend: Wow, it's so empty in here. But there are still lots of fondu makers left.

Me: Guess people aren't too fondu them.