Music is textured air.

My aesthetic

I finally can describe my aesthetic: contemporary typewriter.

The round, slightly cat-eye-ish glasses really made it. Feeling brave with my glasses and choosing a style that was not yet popular but had a character I liked is something I feel this goofy bit of pride over. I have never been a 'stylish' person by any means, but I'm just proud of myself for being bold enough for once and just going with my gut with something to do with my appearance (other than just having really long hair).

Our tribe's eye

I can tell. I can tell a lot of things, but just don't feel like I need to say it to prove or confirm it.

It's not possible to shut off mental eyes like that, but sometimes saying things can hurt people. If it's your business and not mine, you don't have to worry about me saying it. 

People who take pride in "calling people out" are not my people. My tribe notices but at least tries to discern when things are best said, or left unspoken.

nocturnal or insomnia?

Days are dangerous. Nights are quiet. Peace is fleeting.

My heart is barely beating.

Feb 2021 thoughts about abstract art

Abstract art conveys an idea without saying it literally, or depicting it to explicitly.

It is a nonliteral, and sometimes simplified, representation of some pattern that can be observed in or connected to our reality. 

lofi makes it better

 

dehydration

When I drink from a cup there are always bubbles with it, from the air that is sucked through the gaps between the stiff, leathery folds in my lips. 

My eyeballs are dry.

The air in here is too dry.

I use a spray bottle around my face and inhale for a moment of relief.

The water in the jars is dusty because all the lids are lost. The water bottle has slimy film hidden inside and the water tastes bitter and metallic.

Everything is room temperature.

It's hard to think. I can't work very well, and I am tempted to take snow from the roof.

The air is so dry it feels like breathing ash, and I have a sore type of dizziness that feels like being lifted by the ears.

I miss being nocturnal. The water is clean and cool at night, and the air inside is softer and the air outside the wooden door is cleared; the toxic gasses have subsided and there is no pollution.

Use language to make the truth clear.

Facts build up a true message.

If you don't use genuine facts, you discredit and drag down a true message.

If you state facts but put them in misleading frames, you are not telling the truth.

Use language to make the truth clear.

Why I don't really like wedding rings

I don't want love to get ties up with things; material things that break or get lost or stolen.

Not everyone is wired the same and will assign this meaning in their minds, but this is how I naturally feel about it.

(If you're not sure you get my drift, Google "Holocaust wedding rings." That's one end of the lines I'm thinking along, but I'd warn a sensitive viewer that this image while not graphic may be deeply disturbing.)

Many people expect me to say something about ownership over women, or showing off wealth; but from all I have read that is not genuinely the origin of the wedding ring. What what I understand the origin was actually to poetically declare eternal love and trust, and they were not originally gaudy at all.

If ever am married, I will ask about doing an exchange of rings Egyptian style. We can make rings out of plant matter, then bury them somewhere special or maybe tape them into a wedding scrapbook. It is still sentimental and poetic, but it does not turn a material object into an extension of your emotional bond.

And as for daily use, we can always draw one on, or wear a random ring on the daily if we'd like to send the message we are taken. 

(Tattooing has already been considered, but on an aesthetic it would really bug me when I opted to wear an actual ring on that finger and have the line maybe sticking out beside it underneath.)

Don’t want love to get tied up with things

I don’t want love to get tied up with things. Items that get lost or break, and with things that are only things.

(The reason I'm not a hug fan of wedding rings - republished 2021-04-09)