I forgot that clocks exist

Earlier this week or last week I momentarily forgot clocks exist and thought, "wow my phone and this tablet have the same number on them, what are the chances."

What are the chances, huh.

Quora Question: Is your motivation rooted in negativity (guilt, anger) or positivity (appreciation, desire)?

This question being shared by Evelyn Krasnik changed my life.

"It has been years since I first read this question -right here on Quora- and I’m finally answering it.

While I don’t always succeed, I do now consciously try to make outcomes I desire my primary motivators. (Some days are better than others). Anger I have always found to be paralyzing so I can’t do much of anything when I’m angry; guilt on the other hand can easily control me. Other days, I aim more decisively towards a desirable outcome, instead of just to curb an undesirable one.

It can be hard to not get so caught up in fighting against that we forget what we are fighting for. But when we aim for an outcome we desire, amoung other things it helps us to act in principle and instead of say always looking back at mistakes us keep pushing forward to the things ahead, pushing it to where we want from here as opposed to just avoiding bad feelings from not having done the right thing sooner."

What is wax?

I just realized I have no idea what wax is.

Apparently earwax is also not even wax... but what is wax? Google just keeps pulling up info on drug-type of wax.

There is information on how bee produce beeswax -which is fascinating- but what is it they are producing?

'Emotional Permanence' and Pop Psychology

I don’t know if “emotional permanence” is a real psychology thing, made up for pop psychology; or been hidden in real psychology for a while, but I have the opposite problem as people with BPD regarding emotional permanence.

It hurts seeing psychology being damaged by pop psychology. I’m at a point where unless someone has been diagnosed with something themselves or they are doctors I don’t want to hear anyone talking about mental disorders; I’ve even regained myself just to prevent conversations from starting.

Someone told me that sociopathy is no longer classified under ASPD. I said “I don’t think that’s true” and was patronized on how “psychology changes”. Yes it changes, but as the conversation transpired while I was literally looking at the most recent edition of the DSM; a sociopath by definition has ASPD, and when we throw this technical language wherever we see fit even when it's wrong we run the risk of doing damage.

Judging from ourselves as the standard of just right

It is a very human tendency to feel that what we do is the standard for what is just and reasonable, especially in grey zones.

We feel our application is the most right way; any more is a bit excessive, any less is perhaps too little.

But us, we are being reasonable.

It can be hard to open one’s mind to the idea that there is a range of what is reasonable, of ways to apply the same principles, a range that very likely extends beyond what we ourselves would ever do or not do.

I try to keep this in mind when assessing people’s behaviour; but it can lead to me devalue the way propels’ behaviour affects me and my own feelings. So I have been trying to be a bit more utilitarian; what works and what doesn’t. I can accept that someone doesn’t have to be behaving in a way that is utterly and completely immoral or unacceptable in every case, without invalidating my own feelings. I am still entitled to accept or reject certain things from my life based on the effect they have on me; whether I could wrote an essay about it or not.

(We don’t have to judge or evaluate everything someone else does, measuring it up to ourselves and our own idea of what is reasonable. But we are also not inherently obligated to stay in all situations we dislike just because someone isn’t a bad person; we don’t have to decide or convince ourselves someone is a bad person to warrant spending less time with them.

The idea that people must be labeled toxic or nontoxic bothers me; i think behaviours are toxic, I think it is more rare for a whole person to be bad or toxic. Not nonexistent, but once we get into the grey zones I doubt any of us are as good at discerning this as we think we are.

Just because someone isn’t toxic it doesn’t mean we have to want to be around them all the time. And just because someone is someone we don’t want to be around so much doesn’t make them toxic.

Update on "Heartworm" and "To the person I decided to write today"

For anyone wondering, it is going better than I'd ever dared to hope.

And its not just a dream this time.

AJR - The Good Part

 

Wearing ugly clothes and still looking good is a flex for attractive people

To the person I decided to write today

To the person I decided to write today:

I wish it didn't take so long. I'm sorry for going MIA, and would understand if you're upset.

But please, please don't ignore my message.

The truth is you are someone I want to keep from a time I want to forget. But I don't want to live the rest of this life remembering you as you were, I want to know you as you are.

I don't want things to be the same again, this purpose not trying to freeze you time and space.

You waited for me long enough, I will also wait.

While we may be strangers now, you're one I'd like to meet.

I noticed that a lot of my facebook posts over the last couple years have been about facebook.

Guess they could be called "meta posts" 

🌝