I see a deep attachment,

Not deep love.

Moonfall

I stay up all night to avoid tomorrow

As if it's time I somehow borrow

Pretending I don't have to get up early at all

When I'm just scared of what will come with the moonfall

 Sometimes I stay up late because I'm afraid of tomorrow.

Even if It's Gray

I look forward to being with you again when the days are gray

Maybe your return will be coming through the rain,

Even if the sun isn't out that'll be just fine,

Because all that matters is that you're in that line.

We'll go to the beach when the sky is white,

Even when the stars are hidden we'll have the earth to marvel at night.

We'll watch the clouds roll away,

And together wait for another day.

And when we truly have forever, 

It's ok to change our plans for the weather.

Play music inside with rain on the window,

Or work har to shovel the snow together.

Today I miss you when it snows

And whenever the wind blows

With every passing note,

At all the highs and all the lows.

Tomorrow I will want the same thing,

Inside this promise will still ring.

I want us to work hard together,

Inherit the earth and worship forever.

As much as I do love to see the bright colours,

Reminder pink and coral hues,

Turquoise blue and emerald green,

What matters most is what remains unseen.

Even if next we meet it is in the pouring rain,

Your smile is enough to end the pain.

Even if the sky is gray and thunder announces that you are here,

It will still be the most beautiful day, my dear.

How every day I woke up into a new timeline

I think I found the key behind the dpdr-like symptoms.

It was actually too much. It had to end. There was just too much loss, abandonment, and isolation. So my mind basically did a factory reset and every morning I woke up having no idea who or what anyone or anything is.

With that reset bad friends became weird strangers, losses became misplacements, and I went from a failure to just born yesterday.  

My mind flipped the script to survive the situation.

Instead of losing Amara it was easier to lose myself, and instead of facing those who abandoned me it was easier to just forget who everyone is. Instead of facing that I felt like they were bad friends, it was easier to feel that they were weird strangers.

This is in no way meant to minimize the torture that people go through with DPDR, but for me dissociation is a rock shielding me from a hard place.

Sometimes I can't tell if you're a bad friend or a weird stranger.

I miss you when it snows

 

Everything I like is tied to you

All the mem'ries that we knew

Wish you would just listen to how true

This is 

Did you know I'd

(Oh I) miss you when it snows

And whenever the wind blows

At the place that the waves go

All of the highs and all the lows

The sky it is too white

I write songs late at night

About the day and it's fights

Telling you things

I should have said

I miss you when it snows

And with every passing note

All of the highs and all the lows

If only you would know

I don't just miss you when it snows

With every foggy breath I know

Every night that I must fight

So that someday you might know

Do you see old people past their oldness,

Bold people beyond their boldness,

Can you love someone for their steadiness

When you hate them for their coldness?

Can you draw past what you see?

When you are looking at me,

Can you see me as I am,

Or only what is said to be?

Mr Silence and Saviour Complex

If you only ever talk to someone when you're afraid they are about to die it doesn't make you their friend, it makes you a kind stranger.

~~

If you don't value my presence and only fear my absence,

If you are deaf to my words but despise my silence,

I wonder what you tell yourself about who I am to you.

In your heart am I someone you know, or just someone you once knew?

What is my favourite colour?

I love gray, but that is a shade.

My creative colour is electric blue

And the colours I like to wear if they must be colours and not shades or neutrals are purple and burnt orange.

SecondLife Favourite Places

SL FAVOURITE PLACES

-----------------------

NICHE

La Vallee, https://www.flickr.com/groups/contest-alpine-valley/http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Landscapes%20Showcase/181/178/42

Jewelry Glasses "Air" Main Shop

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Goguryeo/96/80/65

Protected Land, Fairstone Quarry

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fairstone%20Quarry/122/152/24

Winter Moon

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Winter%20Moon/39/57/22

Toutour De Provenco horseback riding (Frenchish place)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/angelexe/106/217/36

Time portal (has horses and 40s Chinatown)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Time%20Portal/154/225/1502

Get Away Gardens (waterfalls and forest from zagnerx)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Woods/203/155/23

Blue Note

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/angelexe/71/234/3286

Two Fish (from happy orange, artsy place)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Cariacou/195/79/171

Jewelry Glasses "Air" Main Shop

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Goguryeo/96/80/65

Ethereal City

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ethereal%20City/108/113/21

Sakura Community Region, Shobu

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Shobu/185/128/21

Venice ARIA

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Yumix%20Prada/112/88/30

Hana Aloha

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Hana%20Aloha/127/145/46

Frank's Elite Jazz Club

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Franks%20Place%207/132/48/26

INSPIRE SPACE PARK, Shinda (showed by Happy Orange)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Shinda/66/197/1559

Paradise Mountains - Winter in Paradise

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Paradise%20Mountains/91/103/32

Time Traveler's Club - time portal

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Time%20Portal/107/135/3782

Chinatown New York 20s-40s

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Time%20Portal/159/122/1929

-----------------------

GENERAL EXPLORING

-----------------------

TO SOCIALZE

Tempura Island

Firestorm Social

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Firestorm%20Social%20Island/29/34/3501

Pacifique

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Pacifique/98/102/23

-----------------------

SHOPS AND FREEBIES

Splash Aquatics

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Gooruembalchi/120/179/70

Jewelry Glasses "Air" Main Shop

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Goguryeo/96/80/65

Teegle Falconry

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Teegle/21/154/33

CKit Falconry

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ezquerra/17/128/37

-----------------------

OTHER

Monki's Place

Freebie Galaxy

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ibiza/15/54/16

-----------------------

CREATOR SPACES

Builder's Brewery

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Builders%20Resource/197/15/25

Happy Hippo Academy

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Pandorus/72/136/29

Watching what would happen to Neptune if Uranus disappeared

(Or the other way around)

It's ok.

 I will go in grey.

 I am in full out avoiding my feelings mode

A secret about salting fries

 Instead of salting the fries, salt the ketchup

 I wonder if it is sadder to be the one who remembers, or the one who forgets.

We will be sad and lonely

In all our disconnection

Changing to speaking about someone in past tense is the worst thing in the world.