"What can I say, I make doing badly look good."
Edited 2019-10-07 (bad to badly)
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
Answer to Quora question: How do INTJs read people vs INFJs?
INTJs seem to focus mainly on behavioural patterns and may infer motive from there, whereas INFJs seem to focus more on understanding feelings as motivators and empathizing/painting a picture from there.
Answer to Quora question: Can INFJs be quite bitter, silver-tongued and mean?
Yes, and add manipulative to that list.
----
I have mixed feelings on how much positive reception and attention this one got. People please do keep in mind the question says *can*. Of course any type "can" do anything another type can, but in this context it doesn't imply that INFJs in general will be like this on the regular.
Posted to lunar-winds April 28, 2018, to Quora Oct 24, 2017
I have mixed feelings on how much positive reception and attention this one got. People please do keep in mind the question says *can*. Of course any type "can" do anything another type can, but in this context it doesn't imply that INFJs in general will be like this on the regular.
Posted to lunar-winds April 28, 2018, to Quora Oct 24, 2017
Peace, Sage, and Tico
"Peace" would make a lovely name but if I ever have a baby that can't be an option, because whenever I need to talk to my husband in private it would be way too tempting be say "Peace, out."
So far my favourite girl names are still Sage, Viola, or Reverie (if we're going with a made-up one), and Jeremiah, Nico or Tico for a boy.
There's a story behind my favourite name for a boy. It goes back when I was working as a retail fundraiser for Plan International (ah the good old days... and that's Plan International as in the Because I Am a Girl project, not Planned Parenthood). In the first mall the courier who came to pick up the forms every day was super friendly. We share common background and he would take a moment out of his busy day to chat about back home sometimes. His was named Tico. Or so I thought.
His name is actually Tito, but I didn't realize that for about a year. In that time I developed a case of baby fever (shockingly) and kept going back to the name "Tico". I thought it would be a nice, unique-sounding name for our area, but then a friend explained that he had taken on an Americanized version of his first name upon moving to Canada, as boys are often bullied for having names that stand out.
A unique name is far from anything to be ashamed of and I'd want my children to be more than okay with standing out as different, but a name will follow that child every year in school and presuming that he chooses to take on his mom's spiritual as his own, he will already have quite a bit of that to contend with. One meaning of Tico is "little boy", so I figured "Nico" was a nice alternative depending on where we live.
(As for the name "Sage", I may have to act quickly because my older cousin Dan said that he's going to name his daughter that so it's a race to see who has a daughter first at this point.)
Of course, none of this is certain. I may stick with five-year-old-Melody's plan to adopt as a single parent (but not a girl from China anymore, as they are now facing the issue of not having enough women) and make this decision on my own, but I'd definitely be prepared so choose something different if I were married and hubby wasn't a fan of that name.
Nevertheless, it's fun to think about sometimes.
So far my favourite girl names are still Sage, Viola, or Reverie (if we're going with a made-up one), and Jeremiah, Nico or Tico for a boy.
There's a story behind my favourite name for a boy. It goes back when I was working as a retail fundraiser for Plan International (ah the good old days... and that's Plan International as in the Because I Am a Girl project, not Planned Parenthood). In the first mall the courier who came to pick up the forms every day was super friendly. We share common background and he would take a moment out of his busy day to chat about back home sometimes. His was named Tico. Or so I thought.
His name is actually Tito, but I didn't realize that for about a year. In that time I developed a case of baby fever (shockingly) and kept going back to the name "Tico". I thought it would be a nice, unique-sounding name for our area, but then a friend explained that he had taken on an Americanized version of his first name upon moving to Canada, as boys are often bullied for having names that stand out.
A unique name is far from anything to be ashamed of and I'd want my children to be more than okay with standing out as different, but a name will follow that child every year in school and presuming that he chooses to take on his mom's spiritual as his own, he will already have quite a bit of that to contend with. One meaning of Tico is "little boy", so I figured "Nico" was a nice alternative depending on where we live.
(As for the name "Sage", I may have to act quickly because my older cousin Dan said that he's going to name his daughter that so it's a race to see who has a daughter first at this point.)
Of course, none of this is certain. I may stick with five-year-old-Melody's plan to adopt as a single parent (but not a girl from China anymore, as they are now facing the issue of not having enough women) and make this decision on my own, but I'd definitely be prepared so choose something different if I were married and hubby wasn't a fan of that name.
Nevertheless, it's fun to think about sometimes.
Friday, 20 October 2017
Today for the first time I met someone else who obsessively steps on every crack on the path, alternating which foot steps on it, and ensuring the crack it just below the ball of your foot or above the toes (but left and right have to match symmetrically).
Does anybody else have this weird compulsion???
Does anybody else have this weird compulsion???
Wednesday, 18 October 2017
It's at that point where it feels like people are venting to me 100% of the time.
(I know that's not really true. Customers, friends I tend to hang out with in groups, workmates who don't really know me, and a friend I volunteer with once a week (let's call her Ruby) don't. It just feels like it though.)
My Personal Views on MBTI: A Vocabulary
Note: actually posted the evening of October 18th 2017. I'm doing the bury-in-the-archive-so-you-don't-get-perfectionistic thing again.
Person 1: "I think people take Mysers-Briggs too seriously."
Person 2: "I can't afford to take it too seriously, I share a type with Adolf Hitler."
Person 1: "I think people take Mysers-Briggs too seriously."
Person 2: "I can't afford to take it too seriously, I share a type with Adolf Hitler."
On a side note, apparently cats have become the INFJ mascot. See, being affectionately referred to as a cat has made me feel understood by other INFJs that I don't know. However, I don't feel defined by "INFJ" just as I don't feel defined by "cat".
There is a plethora of important traits that the MBTI does not encompass, including , morals, values, interests, health, friends, loves, and beliefs. Though some groups will statistically share more of these traits and that's where the often cringey, horoscope-sounding descriptions come from. It's just not within the typology's structure.
However, on days when I am not feeling myself or am fed up with people, it does help give me some much-needed perspective, reminders of insight (ie: "it's their 4th function, it's their response to stress..."), or at least an easily-accessible vocabulary to express what I mean using cognitive functions.
Cognitive functions is the only type of MBTI I actually like (I'll pass on the overly-hypothetical tests or limiting, horoscope-like general descriptions). It gives a name to 8 parts of our psyche, or 8 "functions" that we we all have but don't necessarily have a word for already. The theory goes that we all have all 8, we just tend to develop or use hem in a different order called your "stacking" (like stacking tools in a toolbox).
It includes that response to stress forces us to mature and use to learn our "lower" functions, whereas when we're on a high we may naturally to thrive and feel very at home in our higher functions.
For some resources and on MBTI, feel free to check out this board (I also have boards for each individual type on the same account):
However, on days when I am not feeling myself or am fed up with people, it does help give me some much-needed perspective, reminders of insight (ie: "it's their 4th function, it's their response to stress..."), or at least an easily-accessible vocabulary to express what I mean using cognitive functions.
Cognitive functions is the only type of MBTI I actually like (I'll pass on the overly-hypothetical tests or limiting, horoscope-like general descriptions). It gives a name to 8 parts of our psyche, or 8 "functions" that we we all have but don't necessarily have a word for already. The theory goes that we all have all 8, we just tend to develop or use hem in a different order called your "stacking" (like stacking tools in a toolbox).
It includes that response to stress forces us to mature and use to learn our "lower" functions, whereas when we're on a high we may naturally to thrive and feel very at home in our higher functions.
For some resources and on MBTI, feel free to check out this board (I also have boards for each individual type on the same account):
https://www.pinterest.ca/melodytadeo/mbti-16-sides-of-ourselves/
Also, over time I might post a few of my Quora answers here (including the MBTI ones) once I feel brave and coordinated enough.
If there is anyone here who feels so inclined to post their type please feel free to do so in the comments!
(Do you like the Youtuber-like conclusion?)
Also, over time I might post a few of my Quora answers here (including the MBTI ones) once I feel brave and coordinated enough.
If there is anyone here who feels so inclined to post their type please feel free to do so in the comments!
(Do you like the Youtuber-like conclusion?)
Sunday, 15 October 2017
"I'm looking forward to the day we'll both be out of a job."
"I'm looking forward to the day we'll both be out of a job."
Charity fundraisers and soldiers. Doctors and Funeral Homes.
(Isaiah 26:21,22)
~~~
I remember realizing that I was a fundraiser aka professional beggar on someone else's behalf. It's a sad and unusual honour to plead on behalf of peoples whose voices are not heard for no fault of their own.
I can't wait for a world when all the fundraisers and soldiers and doctors will be out of jobs. Doctors. Funeral homes. They'll need a new job and I'm sure they'll be happy for the reassignment.
~~~
I remember realizing that I was a fundraiser aka professional beggar on someone else's behalf. It's a sad and unusual honour to plead on behalf of peoples whose voices are not heard for no fault of their own.
I can't wait for a world when all the fundraisers and soldiers and doctors will be out of jobs. Doctors. Funeral homes. They'll need a new job and I'm sure they'll be happy for the reassignment.
Saturday, 14 October 2017
Don't be a rabbit
When a rabbit it sick or hurt, it's instinct is to hide it and pretend nothing is wrong so that it is not targeted by predators. This is its instinct regardless of whether it is in any real danger of being eaten by predators, or if it is the pet of someone who would want to help and get it to a vet. Unfortunately, by the time it's pain can be seen it may very well be too late for it to be helped.
Don't be a rabbit.
Thursday, 12 October 2017
Love Lost
It's sad to think about how most of the love in the world was lost.
People like songs about heartbreak because most people can relate to it. On the bright side it means if that's you then you're far from alone, that it validates the circumstances or other feelings that led to the nothing; that it just happens sometimes in love.
The sad part is it means that so many people have felt broken that way.
Wednesday, 11 October 2017
Mental Health Awareness Day
There are so many things to say I don't know where to start, but for today I just want to say this:
Do not mistake a symptom for identity.
You are more than any illness you might have.
I hope this mental health awareness week turns out to be a positive one for you, but even if it turns out to be the worst week ever, even the worst week of our lives only lasts 7 days.
That, and you are not alone. Please do not hesitate to reach out to someone who can help. That, and also you are not alone in the daily struggle.
We have gone on when we didn't think that we could, and you and I are both here today, and that is something to celebrate, so that is why we can say "Happy Mental Health Awareness Day."
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
Monday, 9 October 2017
I am sure
There have come things that though unspoken are so true it is as if there is no other option. Just so sure.
I felt something like this in autumn 2013 when I knew I wanted to get baptized.
When mind and heart and soul all agree, anxious cacauohany is silenced. There is a calmness, and clarity. Decisions and actions are fluid.
Just so sure.
---
(When I don't have clarity, I find peace with the advice at Philippians 4:6,7)
Saturday, 7 October 2017
Until Tuesday
You know things are stretched when you're looking at your schedule and think, "rats no time to cry until Tuesday night."
Did I really just think that? Damn I can't tell if I'm not as sensitive as I should be, or am just over-sensitive to other peoples' feelings. We just grieve so differently.
I really did love her.
It just won't hit me until I'm alone.
Friday, 6 October 2017
Grieving / Stones
There is no right way to grieve, is there.
There really is eternity in our hearts. (Ecclesiastes 3:9)
I swallow the lump in my throat; a stone that sinks deep into the ocean inside me without a splash, perhaps just one drop. Then it sinks down into deeper and darker blue until the bottom where the light does not reach, where these feelings lie quietly.
If I pray too much or write too much there is an overflow. But for now the stones will sit. Perhaps one day they will be stacked on on top of the there so some will be revealed and their colours may be brought to light.
Rebel with a cause
I like a rebel with a good cause; they work to solve problems no matter what anyone else says.
I don't like a rebel without a cause; they create problems no matter what anyone else says.
I don't like a rebel without a cause; they create problems no matter what anyone else says.
Thursday, 5 October 2017
Wednesday, 4 October 2017
Hurt and Love
People can only hurt you emotionally proportionate to how important they are to you. That's why people we love can hurt us so much.
But no matter how much you love them, or they love you, everyone in the end is responsible for the pain they have caused.
Peoples' actions can cause you great emotional anguish too; murderers and other criminals do this to people. But imagine if the murderer were someone the victim's family was once close friends with? While being strangers does not lessen the hurt, knowing them would add another dimension to it; someone who you love is capable of hurting you in ways a stranger is not.
Peoples' actions can cause you great emotional anguish too; murderers and other criminals do this to people. But imagine if the murderer were someone the victim's family was once close friends with? While being strangers does not lessen the hurt, knowing them would add another dimension to it; someone who you love is capable of hurting you in ways a stranger is not.
Tuesday, 3 October 2017
Monday, 2 October 2017
Cold Flute Hands
On anxiety days when my hands are very cold, the scariest thing is when I pick up my flute but am unable to feel any music.
Even though it has always returned before there is still that moment of panic. What if it never comes back?
But it always does.
Still, I have often wondered if my flute's voice sounds better when my hands are hot because they are physically warmer, of it it's because hot hands means I must be profoundly happy or at least not anxious.
Either way, I suppose for music's sake I just have to be deeply happy.
Even though it has always returned before there is still that moment of panic. What if it never comes back?
But it always does.
Still, I have often wondered if my flute's voice sounds better when my hands are hot because they are physically warmer, of it it's because hot hands means I must be profoundly happy or at least not anxious.
Either way, I suppose for music's sake I just have to be deeply happy.
Sunday, 1 October 2017
Art is more than logging an emotion
Thank you, Shorts. (And thank you to anyone who is reading this.)
Since the startup of 'Shorts' I have been feeling less anxious, more creative, and my journal entries have gotten shorter and more positive. I actually go back and read stuff. Shorts (and most posts here) have basically turned out to be many of the thoughts in my journal I want to remember, and have made me focus more on positive experiences for personal albums and entries too.
A journal is a conversation with oneself, but putting it out here into empty internet space seems to be making me turn whatever the feeling or thought is into something worthwhile. It is also more focused; as if putting it here gives the incentive I need to just get it right, that it makes it worth something outside myself (even if nobody else reads it, I have no idea if anyone reads this)
It's expressive, and for a while art might become something else when it is constantly kept behind closed doors. It gets that way for when when I'm only writing or talking to myself, or playing music for myself. When someone else is listening, it makes me want to make it beautiful to make them feel a certain way too.
Art is more than logging an emotion.
This blog's original headline was "journey to feel again". Many emotionally-driven people come to feel numb, and I began this blog when I wasn't sure it was possible to be revived from that state (some days still carry that anxiety). But now I know it is, and if you are someone who feels this way I hope this blog gives you the reason or proof you need to know there is hope for people like us.
For anyone who wants to know what "Lunar Winds" is even supposed to mean, it references the wind that passes us every day here on earth; it may seem so normal, but when you really think about it a major source is the moon. It's down to our level, but it is all the way from the moon and it's worth it to stop and just pay attention to how it feels.
Life passes, thoughts pass, deep feelings pass, but that doesn't mean we have to let it pass us by.
Note: Actually posted October 12, 2017 after the flute photos. I just wanted to bury it a little farther back so that it's not on the first page for me to see and get all perfectionistic over.
Since the startup of 'Shorts' I have been feeling less anxious, more creative, and my journal entries have gotten shorter and more positive. I actually go back and read stuff. Shorts (and most posts here) have basically turned out to be many of the thoughts in my journal I want to remember, and have made me focus more on positive experiences for personal albums and entries too.
A journal is a conversation with oneself, but putting it out here into empty internet space seems to be making me turn whatever the feeling or thought is into something worthwhile. It is also more focused; as if putting it here gives the incentive I need to just get it right, that it makes it worth something outside myself (even if nobody else reads it, I have no idea if anyone reads this)
It's expressive, and for a while art might become something else when it is constantly kept behind closed doors. It gets that way for when when I'm only writing or talking to myself, or playing music for myself. When someone else is listening, it makes me want to make it beautiful to make them feel a certain way too.
Art is more than logging an emotion.
This blog's original headline was "journey to feel again". Many emotionally-driven people come to feel numb, and I began this blog when I wasn't sure it was possible to be revived from that state (some days still carry that anxiety). But now I know it is, and if you are someone who feels this way I hope this blog gives you the reason or proof you need to know there is hope for people like us.
For anyone who wants to know what "Lunar Winds" is even supposed to mean, it references the wind that passes us every day here on earth; it may seem so normal, but when you really think about it a major source is the moon. It's down to our level, but it is all the way from the moon and it's worth it to stop and just pay attention to how it feels.
Life passes, thoughts pass, deep feelings pass, but that doesn't mean we have to let it pass us by.
Note: Actually posted October 12, 2017 after the flute photos. I just wanted to bury it a little farther back so that it's not on the first page for me to see and get all perfectionistic over.
Toxic Streams
Why do I journal so much when I'm sad or anxious? Why waste space with repetitive, toxic streams of thought that I'm never going to want to remember?
Because these are the moments when I need help the most and it's the closest thing to a conversation.
See I just asked a question then answered it myself.
Bagpipes
Playing the bagpipes is essentially one guy trying to overblow three clarinets at once.
I've been having a bagpipes type of week. I don't like the way it came out, but the fact that I managed to make anything happen is pretty impressive.
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