Movie with Three Colours

It was like watching three colours for two hours and nothing happened.

And bitter humour was at last the resort,

But the truth is it probably wasn't that bad.

     It left me with a bad feeling. 

It brought be back to a very dark place that I never wanted to go back to.

Of a rumoured self-defeat, The theme self-defeating.

Like they shot half the film with the left half of the brain then stuck a mirror between.

     No that was not the mirror that I truly mean.

Where the organic reflection of the water's ripples were the only saving grace.

     We needed more time to reflect on it.

     The truth is it just struck a chord too perfect as the theme goes.

Brought back to see a cold grace.

The pit from which I had to fight to regrow through the cold winter,

And I just didn't want a reminder.

Because here I would so often sit to try to write a sorry line to convince myself I'm fine,

But try too hard and know I lied it felt like inside I've died.

     Now this is not why.

But at the time I seldom had the courage to admit it because I was afraid

Of waking up and realizing that I didn't have a single dream.

Afraid that dreams, emotions, creativity depth and identity were lost with individuality.

If nothing feels wrong than you wouldn't understand and that is a good thing my friend,

But if you do understand and feeling nothing is feeling wrong,

Then yes there is a problem but seeing it also means

That you're still in there my friend.

     Your heart is just under lockdown.

     If these are your words then take them,

Because it is too scary to say them so we often stay silent.

We lock the words up who knows where throw away the key

But then throw ourselves into more anxiety.

     It's hard to say but there are others, and you can make it out alive.

     You're not alone, and though cold alone we can keep eachother warm.

The truth is there is no lock, it's just frozen shut and it will thaw.

If a heart is under lockdown that's because there is something precious worth protecting inside.

The winter we swore to love and make the best of can be oh so cold,

And even the warmest of people may retreat to a part so deep that it feels out of reach,

     But it's in there.

     Deeply as you are.