I don't know if I should post this because it's kind of bragging, but while I outwardly call my secret talent loon calling (because it matches my naturey persona, and moreso because it is a skill that can be taught to others too), my real secret talent is guessing how many pieces of candy are in jars.
Since my early twenties I have never tried guessing this at a party and lost. I used to be very shy and was afraid of guessing right or seeming too self-confident (the irony) and my name being announced so I tried to submit guesses that I knew would probably not win, but not so extreme that it would draw the attention of the person checking the answers. (Or worse, lead to mine being brought out if they also announce the lowest and highest guesses).
After I stopped caring so much about people thinking that (or maybe I didn't really, considering the first sentence of the post) I decided to actually try I have one all of the times I participated in this game.
It is gonna totally shatter my ego one day if and when I lose this game. It has gotten to the point that I now selectively participate just based on whether I actually want what is in the jar (or the jar itself, like a useful, pretty trophy), or if I can tell someone else at the party really wants the candy so I can make sure they get some.
Will my narcissism in this regard be my downfall? In school the subjects I did best in were the ones where I refused to look at my grade until report cards, so that I neither get discouraged not over-confidence. I truly fear overconfidence, and just as much perhaps I fear the fear of overconfidence; what if by choosing to acknowledge these thoughts consciously will bring about my own demise?
Perhaps the key is keeping it secret, and not actually bragging. [and so the "quiet favourites" tag is born/] There was a purpose to putting this here; not for gloating, but entertainment. It started as just a caption, and then it became all of this.
This really makes me realize how this blog has become a way of preventing me from burying all my happy thoughts in sad ones. I would like to reorganize my photos better to also reflect this, but that is another project for another time.
Also, most originally the purpose of this is definitely for my own entertainment, and to document this kind of cute secret I have with myself, beyond putting up a photo of cradling a jar of m&ms without context.
~~ [it gets super stream of thought from here.]
Thanks to Christina for the m&ms by the way :)
Wait, not just "by the way." I forgot the caption itself is "Thank you for the m&ms :)", originally written for an email to Christina.
As archaic as email sounds to the modern ear, it is one of my favourite methods of digital communication as it is not only easy to organize, but I can send it to people in the middle of the night (when I tend to feel most inspired -which reminds me, what do you think of the name @mel.at.midnight. Too quirky overshadowing a variety of moody content? Not neutral enough? [Added later because this hsould be a different post also under today but I'm too a little too mentally tired to make another one at the moment: Too bad my favourites, melodious/melodiious and mels.notbook, are taken. Lunar.melodies would be a nice nod to lunar-winds and not forsaking l~w which is essentially the name of my writer's voice, but it sounds like a DVD for babies so they are smart and can listen to Mozart or something.])
Sorry, let me start over. I like that I can send emails to people in the middle of the night (when I am most inspired) probably without waking them up with a notification on their phone.
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