Grandma and mom drag me out to the Garden Center, seeing me stuck in my own little anxious world.
I photographed all the flowers, photographed by color palette for my quote" stock photo project so that I can always have color themed photos on demand as I'd like. I sent them to Emma and messaged nichelle a bir while I was there
At home, mom, dad, grandma and I had McDonald's ice cream in the backyard, taking the cats out for supervised outside time. Dad found the bag with the big bubbles and Play-Doh and I took out the sticks and Mom and I did both staffing while he made shapes. He pretended to pick it as food from the trees and shaped it into a Jamaican. Patty and pretended to pick it from a tree. I'll goofy as well. [Not sure what I was trying to say here, not that I'm even editing before putting here 😅😆]
I taught Mom and Dad the basic flow, move, forwards and backwards. And while I was trying to explain it to Mom, including backwards that I found so difficult myself, and next to Impossible with my left hand, very messy. Either way, something came up that helped me too. I told her the strategy that helped me for forward, imagine drawing a figure eight side to side around your body where there's graphite on the top tip of the staff. And then, the reverse one, imagine the graphite is just on the back end and now you're drawing from the bottom end.
Her and I struggled through trying to do this, and then I suggested, to her but really to both of us, to turn the stick upside down, so that the end with the white tag still on it wrapped around is on the bottom so that it's a little easier to see and visualize.
It made a big difference! I had tried doing this so many times and was so unsuccessful clumsy and it ended up looking like I was anxiously swatting bees. All of a sudden, I could do it and so could she! (Even though she literally just picked up the stick a couple minutes ago to learn this for this based flow lol. I had told jono mom wasn't natural, seeing how good she was for someone who literally just picked it up already. Able to twirl it. Today. Mom told me when she was a kid she actually had a baton. This turns out is our shared hobby!
I had fun doing this forwards and backwards, trying to walk around with it a little bit, and then accidentally hitting the little trees that planted themselves in the backyard over and over again, apologizing to them then hitting myself.
I ended up hitting myself actually really badly on the arm, so badly that I saw the distinct smack spot of the stick on the outside of my forearm and felt very notable pain trying to move the stick any longer.
Then something must have clicked again.
I was trying to work through this a little bit, stretch out my injured arm, get a sense of how bad this is, and maybe see if I can do a little bit more before nights end since I have the feeling this is going to bruise super badly (#silverlining Silver lining is knowing that loudest actually could be a non-lethal weapon in self-defense, I was imagining if I ever had this and it was my only form of defense, my whole approach would have to be try to do it looking very intimidating- as I told this to Mom, I did a funny mock intimidation monster stance, but no if this is what happened when I wasn't trying to, imagine what it could do if the intention was to make it hurt.
I was trying to work through this, forwards backwards, right arm left arm. And then something happened where I just started adding twirls on the up with my stick doing the figure eights as it was arcing over. It started going forwards. I realized and tried to do it again. And again. And I just did it repetitively every time I went around like an exercise consistently. And then, reversing the flow order. I dare to try it going in reverse... And to my very happy surprise, it worked!
Mom videoed for me this little leap within a day, and I also filmed hers as well so we both have progress videos from today.
This is a fun hobby together!
I showed her throughout this too, surprisingly comfortable, how I really want to combine this with ballet. Basically dancing around, but also doing the stick. We also talked about maybe putting little gradient ribbons on each end for a beautiful display, like a gradient of white to yellow so it doesn't even look like a different color but just a form of whooshing.
I remarked how much easier it is to do this when my leg is not shaking, or not too much. I also noted that it seems the more I do this, the less my leg shakes. Not only while I'm doing it, but even throughout the day. Mom nodded happily. She had noticed too ; it is helping me heal.
It's true. It's helping me get in touch with my body. It's me controlling my body instead of my body controlling me or having a melt on down on its own rather. Is helping me get in touch with my body, and control it but not by force, but floe. Just pure aggressive force against myself doesn't work, force doesn't work just like it doesn't work. Trying to force my leg to stop shaking or my body to stop seizing just force doesn't work with this, you need to flow with it. *
It's controlling my body, but not merely through force and trying to force it, but flow with it.
It is indeed doing its thing in healing. <3
Side note, it was hilarious when a mosquito buzzed nearly into my ear while mom was filming, and I freaked out waving the stick at it until my stick went flinging 😂 #memories #funnies #mom #family #dad #grandma #fekix #virtute #fun.
Unfortunately, Felix did abandon ship and did not do supervised outside time right today and went into the neighbor's backyard, virtue falling. I'm currently in the backyard in the dark (haha of course it's when my hair is in drying form with that clip on top of my head that I am filmed in daylight doing this lol - that's all right though, all part of the authentic experience. Mel, with her funny look with hair drying and pants flopping and random shirt tucked by still flopping... Making a progress video having fun with .on and dad. And hitting myself. LOL) waiting for them, and virtue just came back. When I offered her to go inside and get a treat, I heard Felix's jingle somewhere in the dark
The mosquitoes are coming back for vengeance. All my guard training is for naught lol.
* Almost forgot one of the best parts: Getting in touch with my body, healing my body and mind. Not through force, but through... The force ;) *** Someone else made a using the force joke today about it. Too.
This is a lot of fun 😊
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2gg: good time with my family in the backyard today (super good time :) #truefavourites; Time with our sweet cats,, enjoying ice cream with Grandma, active with Mom, and Dad's creative fun to; I said I wasn't be to be so detailed lol. Also the flowers like the ones at the Garden Center at fortino's we saw today, even nice interaction with the guy who worked there who said he liked my purse, and I got to compliment on the flower organization and color Flo; chatting with good friends like N2 and E3, and MC ❤️ #love, #gratitude #goodgift #perfectpresent #answeredprayer-healing happy and care- sounding so live, laugh. Love over here, but I'm pacing in the backyard getting attacked by mosquitoes. Trying to finish before I transition to inside so got to go bye!
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2gg: good time with my family in the backyard today (super good time :) #truefavourites; Time with our sweet cats,, enjoying ice cream with Grandma, active with Mom, and Dad's creative fun to; I said I wasn't be to be so detailed lol. Also the flowers like the ones at the Garden Center at fortino's we saw today, even nice interaction with the guy who worked there who said he liked my purse, and I got to compliment on the flower organization and color Flo; chatting with good friends like Nichelle and Emma ❤️ #love, #gratitude #goodgift #perfectpresent #answeredprayer-healing happy and care- sounding so live, laugh. Love over here, but I'm pacing in the backyard getting attacked by mosquitoes. Trying to finish before I transition to inside so got to go bye!
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