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Thursday, 7 April 2022

April 7 Grief Thoughts (Just try harder / contagious)

Just try harder

I'm used to being able to just try harder to fix it.
There is a barrier? Just put in more work, more concentration. Catch up. 
But no matter how hard I try this time I can't fix it.
You think you can't do any more? Push harder. You have to sleep? Just stay awake. Just do it.
Never give up, never let up, only intensify.
But no matter how many nights I stay up, and no matter how hard I try, I still haven't gone back in time.

~~ ~~

They avoid me like I have something contagious
And I makes me wonder if maybe I do.
My Dearest Friend,
Did I somehow do this to you?
Did you get this from breathing the same air as me too much?
Despite my efforts to life you up, did I accidentally weigh you down?
~~
I don't want to move on enough to be the same person as I was. How could I?
What I want I cannot have. I want these last two months to have never happened.

~~ ~~

Re-published as one post 2022-04-11

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