....
Being in sync. Is this not what characterized our friendship? Being in sync for better or worse; including falling into the same pits at the same time, neither of us able to pull the other out though we try, because we can't even find our own way out of these mental traps. So we just sit there, keeping eachother company.
When you reappeared in my life though, it we were in sync in the worst possible ways. The timing could not have been worse.
I just couldn’t run for you anymore the way I used to. No matter how much I wanted to. I really did.
So I committed to walk with you, no matter how long or how short that road may be, no matter where the road may go.
But then, the day came when I couldn't even stand on own two feet; so I crawled, trying to stay by your side.
But it wasn’t enough, and you slipped away from me.
I’m so sorry I couldn’t be the friend you needed to lean on. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.
~~
(later edits, when more words could flow)
Thank you for being my friend. A better friend than I could ever ask for, and a better friend than I know you ever imagined yourself to be. Always genuine, with unending kindness and ever-curious.
I love you.
Next time I’ll do better. I know you said you don’t know if God will deem you worthy of a second chance but I know He will. So when that happens please give me a second chance.
I miss you, and until then I always will.
Re-published 2022-04-11 15:53
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