Poem - Photo With the Candle

Photo With the Candle (published 2022-08-01)

This was the her I knew most.

In sync for better or worse, we found ourselves falling into the same ditches at the same time,

Unable to pull the other out,

So instead we sat there keeping eachother company,

Wandering around mazes of the same mental traps we set for ourselves,

Getting lost together.

(I know I say the same things over and over but)

I always wished I could have brought out her best side, instead of only her most raw.

And I wished she could do the same for me.

And this is why I don’t know if in the end I regret being there more or being there less.

Everything can become a regret when you end up with the bad outcome.

Amara, when you wake up you will have your old name, and also a new name.

永霞。

Eternal rosy clouds, the kind you see at sunset and also sunrise

For your name means Eternal,

and the first thing everyone said was “you are a dreamer, aren’t you?” Because we could see your head up in the clouds

I always think of sunset, but it’s sunrise, too.

And you always liked rose gold, and we talked about rose gold rings.

Because you live with your head in the clouds and have a heart of rose gold.

And for your namesake and all of your future, Eternal.

I’m going to spend my life now telling people about this girl who was an old soul, lived with her head in the clouds, and had a heart of rose gold.

I could never keep up with her, she was always one step ahead of me and this ended up being both her strength and her fatal flaw,

Because she couldn’t bring herself to give someone else the burdens she never deserved to have to carry in the first place.

But her name means Eternal.

So every day I watch the sunset and I always will,

And spend the rest of my life picking out the rosy clouds waiting for sunrise.