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Skyglow and faith

There are some nights when for whatever reason we can't see the stars from where we are, but that doesn't make us doubt whether or...

Saturday, 31 January 2026

Tip for Boiled Eggs and Peelability

If you first put the egg in while the water is already boiling, it will be harder to peel.*

      Myself and many others have noticed ourselves having a harder time peeling boiled eggs than years back. The peel just kept sticking to the egg white, and it would take so long and still take chunks of egg white with the shell. 

      For us at least, I think it's because in more modern times we have all gotten used to pre-boiling water in our kettles usually as it's much faster than in a pot and then putting in the food.

      Put to the test, this seems to be the issue in our household

      So for more peelable boiled eggs, instead of pre-boiling water in the kettle first, put the eggs in the water before the water has started to boil. Let it slowly begin to cook as the temperature of the water rises, and you may find a world of a difference in the ease of peeling afterwards.

*At least according to what has happened so far in my experimentation 🥼

Friday, 30 January 2026

🌺🎶

Finding myself singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Isaiah Kamakawiwo'ole.

      One of my old favorites. 

      From a long time ago; from many good days.

      Did you know he just called up a friend in the middle of the night one day to record this, went over and sang it in one tape, and this that's what we're here today? 

      So beautiful.

~~

Back when the hibiscus emoji was one of my most used, and I realized I really liked pink again.

~~

And then, naturally, Can't Help Falling In Love.

A Few Words to Any Who May Need Them

Title:

A Few Words to Any Who May Need Them

This doesn't change that you never deserved to go through any of this, or change that it's completely unfair you have this to heal from at all.

That said, unlike those who refuse to catch up with reality reality *will* catch up with them, reality is on side of one speaking truth, and healing with truth 🖤

~~

I wish that you are loved and truly seen, and loved for the way you are seen.

       "I have a habit of looking with my brain instead of my eyes, and you have a habit of listening with your brain instead of your ears!"

Looking with One's Brain (A Funny Admission)

This is something I do, that it seems some others do as well. However, today I admit this funny thing.

     As one of my best friends puts it: "you are the most unobservant observant person I have ever met!"

     No arguments, here. 😅

      I have this tendency when I can't find something for a while, to immediately see it right in front of me as soon as I ask my mom if she has seen it.

     We joke that it was like a superpower. She sometimes hasn't even answered and she has already given me reason to thank her for her help!

     I realize this comes from the tendency to look with my brain instead of with my eyes. When I am concerned I can't find something, I have this silly tendency to think that I can find it if I "think harder" about it.

      No, thinking about to more does not help me find it, because so, so often it's right in front of me and I can't see it, and/or it's in the very first place I already checked likely multiple times 😅.But I don't see it right there until I have released what pressure making me spin around, simply by going to my mom even if she hasn't even heard my question clearly yet.

~~

      "I have a habit of looking with my brain instead of my eyes, and you have a habit of listening with your brain instead of your ears!"

Thursday, 29 January 2026

Music has the power to express and explain what we understand, and to understand what we cannot explain.

Recent Playlist, A

      At first I had only thought of the first one.

      But as it turned out, it could not stop at one, and go on it did, indeed.

      Playlist:

How Do I Say Goodbye - Dean Lewis

All I Ever Wanted - Dean Lewis

(All of the Stars - Hayde)

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

(Part of Me - Cian Ducrotte)

Call Your Mom - Noah Kahan.

~~

    The ways music can walk one through an emotional story, in all the power of its order, chronological order, or even intentionally not.

     Music can make us look back; look forward into the future; look into our hearts; see into another's.

     Music has to power to express, and even explain all we understand, and to understand what cannot be explained. 

~~

"You do not live in fear of them anymore, but you will not live in past love towards them, either.

May they meets you where you are today, or you walk on without them."

~~

"His brain can block out my voice.

But it could not block out the music."

Cabbage Recipe and Reflecting on Variations of Seasoning

(Like my mom makes; with lots of black pepper. Carrots optional)

Flat Taiwanese/Korean cabbage, onions (usually I use yellow or white, today, red), frozen peas, carrots, lots of black pepper, salt; avocado for cooking oil. Afterwards it was missing something, and jumped up in improvement with the addition of garlic powder, more salt, and paprika. (And, cayenne pepper for the second half of my bowl)

       I tend to add paprika to a lot of foods without quite knowing if it's doing much. However, after today when I added the paprika after the additional salt and garlic powder, I recognized very clearly again. I hadn't cooked a food with it, but after I had microwaved it I put the paprika straight on and mixed it into the warm food. I think maybe adding some paprika this way instead of putting all of the amount of paprika straight in stews and such right from the beginning may make the flavor come out even more. #food 

Wednesday, 28 January 2026

Be wary of anyone whose "love language" is just telling people what to do.

If they are quicker to tell you what to do in a complex situation than to listen to you talk about the complexities, it is often actually more about affirmation for how they view themselves than responding to reality in a helpful way.

To a friend of many deep thoughts 🌊

I am mindblown.

I usually avoid texting later in the night, knowing how into it I get. But this was definitely worth it. 

What you wrote really, especially resonated  with me right now. It is not what we get it is what we give, and this is what defines who were are. Thank you for the good reminder ♥️

That every choice does create, including creating who we are. We can create kindness, we can create streams of thoughts and choose the streams we follow.

Something that has changed my life many times is trying to remember to see challenges as opportunities to respond right. I don't always succeed in remembering, but they truly are opportunities to respond better and be a better person than we might have been yesterday.

We are not locked into our past patterns only because it is what may be expected. If we suddenly know, envision, and have something better today today and we know we would like to improve, why wait for tomorrow? We do not have to wait for permission to start being kinder or more principled, for elderliness to start behaving that much wiser.

Once we have recieved that insight, what you said about giving is right. As we engage in our relationships, the most important part of this really is that it expands what we are able to give.

As many times before, you have inspired me. I wrote a bit more than planned and it was coming out a little less comprehensible at first, but and I'm feeling too drunk off midnight (as I like to call my nighttime sleepy, sentimental wordiness) for any day-type edits lol. Either way, thank you for sharing this, it certainly has effected my night for the better :)🌌

Tuesday, 27 January 2026

Fruit Salad Bar for Hostin, Papaya Craze, and Cold Papaya Tastes Like Ice Cream

Note: the oranges were to be had separately in this spread




Lately I have been in a fruit salad, but especially papaya craze.

     When I host people I've been creating a fruit salad bar for dessert, with different cut fruit in different bowls (eg. Papaya, Dragon fruit, bananas, maybe honeydew melon to replace papaya), a bowl of thick, canned coconut milk, some cream, along with some canned fruit cocktail, maybe some frozen blueberries and a bottle of honey for sweetening. And then, according to everyone's preferences and what is best for their diet they can build their own fruit salad.

     Back to the main point, papaya.

     I'm at my parents' place and just had the sweetest, soft, coloured papaya I've ever had in my life cold, and it kind of tasted like ice cream 👀🍨

--

Another recent food idea I've been loving: seaweed instead of lox on a bagel with cream cheese and capers.

Monday, 26 January 2026

Enmeshment what I suspect as a secret fifth Cluster B personality disorder

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTykv3iknwp/?igsh=MW15ZzZra2ZnNmF1cg==

Enmeshment I believe is a likely part of the secret fifth Cluster B personality disorder I have been strongly suspecting exists for for past long time. The one that seems to build an identity around being some version of a "protector", and genuinely thinks he is helping people even when he is hurting them and asking too much from them, and this title he has crowned himself with inflates his ego like a balloon therefore making him prone to crashing out/rage when things are not going his own way.

He uses this identity to avoid his flaws and avoid having to think. He thinks he can live like a compass that points only north, and instead of navigating through life he bulldozes his way instead, thinking as long as he is unwavering in going in *that* direction, he is all good. And he does this in the name of the cause of being some sort of "protector", but ironically may even over the very ones he has convinced himself rely on him.

Because of this, it adds even more for him to avoid to all the stuff he is already using this built identity to avoid.

All this said I don't even have an undergraduate degree. I've just been an obsessive enthusiast with reading and thinking about psychology since I was a kid, not pro or anything like that.

Sunday, 25 January 2026

Social media induced blab - meaning of "not liking" someone

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPPdSAJkl5-/?igsh=Y2l2cDM5N3Bsbmo3

Thank you. Growing up I also didn't really understand the concept of "not liking someone" (worded as a whole person) the way people so often applied it. It's easy to get not liking someone as a whole over doing something heinous (whether others see the heinous part or not, ie intentionally hurting someone like bullying even if others don't see it or you can't prove it). But everyone has idiosyncrasies and also strengths. I don't want to be around some people because of their idiosyncrasies including if they are mean sometimes, but unless they did do something really heinous that's all it means. It means I dislike their weakness enough to not want to be around them, not that I dislike them as a whole person. Because of this I thought maybe all these people just weren't telling me what happened. I have now figured out that not only is a difference or idiosyncrasy enough for most people to straight up actually dislike a whole person, but to their credit a some of the times little things actually are signs that there are future things we should protect ourselves from. (Though I stand by just not being around them is enough rather than staying around them unnecessarily but acting like you don't like them).

...sip...

It's wonderful seeing ways we end up with the little mannerisms of people we love.

I realize me putting the ☕ emoji at the end of my messages, is the smart phone equivalent of my dad ending his with "...sip.."

The way I save containers of different sizes and particularly unique shapes for things that aren't food, is just like my grandmother.

The way I structure my points where it ends with a bite-sized summary is like my mother.

(Sometimes running out of character count 2 do that, too😅) 

Wednesday, 21 January 2026

I have afternoon volunteering; the cosmos is back in order.

I have afternoon volunteering; the cosmos is back in order.

Elaboration:

I have afternoon volunteering, personal study, hobbies (especially creative and nature ones), quality time with loved ones, organization, positivity, and work to do in the field of psychology. What a whole universe of possibilities 🍵🌌📚

Luna on the deck



       I know he remembers all of then, and that means something.

      The eternity in my heart is aching, though.








First re'd: Luke 12:6
🤍☀️♥️
🌌🌵💙🌊

~~

I remember, INFIN element was water. She had told me it and I had guessed, and she also saw mine being wind/air. (I'm talking preferences btw, not horoscopes or birthdates). 

It does tie in pretty cool with the association's of the twin planets in our solar systems though. 






I think of you all the time 💙💜






Tuesday, 20 January 2026

My friend and I keep talking up and down and apologizing on the phone. Each of us feel today we are either super slow or super fast, no in-between. Like the kitchen sink that is only very hot or very cold and it's virtually impossible to get an in-between.

    Wait no, bathroom sink.

    I wonder if this is the meaning of Kitchen Sink by tøp.

Stating Facts vs Judgements

A breakthrough on our phone call today:

People don't like it when you just state the facts of what happened instead of conclusions about what it means or judgements, because then they can't shift the focus to criticizing your judgement. If you just state the facts of what happened, they can't hide behind an argument of your judgement to avoid accountability.

Types of Lying

Types of lying, as a discussed with a friend:

• intentional

• unintentional

• the "gray" zone of they didn't know but they weren't just ignorant they chose to remain that way when help not to be was presented to them and they just rejected it

Life hack: when having a meal with someone with ADHD/anxiety relating to attention/attention issue and they are stuck on their phone, play I Spy to get in some positive stimulation + grounding + quality time :)

Monday, 19 January 2026

Very random but "guilt cocktail" feels like such a funny but oddly appropriate term for what a lot of people experience.

Highlight Re Creation - Isaiah 25:1

Isaiah 25:1 

"I exalt you, I praise your name, For you have done wonderful things, Things purposed from ancient times"

Highlight re creation: the way God sets things in motion in creation —one thing leads to another, continuing to go on in motion towards their various purposes, the components of the universe dynamic and forward in natural order and law.

 


coral :)

Friday, 16 January 2026

Tip for shoveling snow: topple the mountains before they are too high

 Lifehack/tip for shoveling snow: When you are first shoveling earlier in the snowy season and the snow banks beside a driveway where you will need to shovel aren't too high yet, topple them. 

      Push the tops backwards to spread out the snow farther from the driveway. Keep doing this as you keep shoveling fresh snow in future, as well. 

      This Is an investment of time and effort that involves pushing instead of throwing so much, to prevent the snow banks from being so high that You need to throw and strain even more to shovel snow later, because you have to throw it on top of such a huge pile.

       Taking your time, and taking some time to do this can be among other things that help prevent heart attacks while shoveling snow.



Emotional gym bros

We are emotional gym bros.

We are obsessed with picking up these situations and putting them down and then licking them up again and doing this over and over again until we are stronger.

(We should still be good about rest stays and proper nourishment, though.)

A precious memory with a kid at camp 🦕

      There was a teenager I worked with, at a camp,  who was nonverbal, autistic, and his whole life they had been trying to teach him to write. We would try to reach him to write his name in the sand.

      Him and I were sitting down on a log after a really bad moment with the other employees. They needed a break. We weren't talking a lot. We were drawing in the sand. 

      I broke the silence eventually, and said to him, "You understand everything we say, don't you? You understand every word we say, but you can't make us understand you. That must be so frustrating."

      He winced as he went to strike the ground again.

      He looked at me. Not in the eye, but decisively.

      He doesn't usually do that.

      His stance relaxed. Then he took my hand, with my stick in it.

      Then directing my hand, he drew out each letter of his own name in the sand, in order, correctly, saying each letter as he went.

      We celebrated. I celebrated with him, him with me.

      I told the others, and we all celebrated together.

~~

     I remember him, and I will remember him always. How much he loves dinosaurs, how he liked the dinosaur print-outs we could make over and over again so that when things happened to him, maybe when he was for feeling well, he could just have the same dinosaur again tomorrow.

     I hope someday we cross paths again. And I can tell him that I have always remembered him, that he is a good friend and I have missed him. And I would really love to see what he likes to do these days if he would like to show me, too.

Thursday, 15 January 2026

"Autistics and Other People Who Like Things Making Sense"

I'd love to make a category, maybe even a website forum, called "Autistics and Other People Who Like Things Making Sense".

      I really do love that stigmas surrounding autism, especially once that impact women, are going down these days. I also do believe that women are very under diagnosed, and an autistic person is likely to be able to figure out on their own that they are autistic. 

      I do believe though that there is an unnecessary dichotomy being created; as if you are either autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. Maybe you have ADHD, or you just don't make sense and you don't care for things to make sense. 

      And even if they're not autistic, I'm pretty sure autistic people would be very happy to have other people who like things making sense and who like fairness being welcomed into the club. 

      Hence, "Autistics and Other People Who Like Making Sense".

 There are people who like to stop and think first to avoid additional work and problems later. There are also people who would rather put in additional work and try to overcome problems later so that they can avoid thinking.

Tuesday, 13 January 2026

From "I am going to clean up this space" to"I am going to "improve" this space."

Life hack/suggestion to consider for people (esp w/ perfectionist tendencies) who get anxious and overwhelmed when they want to clean: Instead of thinking I need to "clean" this space, it could be helpful to think to "improve" this space. To this can help one get started without so much overwhelm, feel more positive, and naturally lead to more "improving" in a positive way.

      It can make that first step feel more approachable, let you comply feel the positive of this "improvement", and then instead of being driven or even gripped by anxiety, you are driven more positively to the next "improvments" (next item put away, surface cleaned, dish washed, etc.)

These Days

I am feeling more known.

<3

To Be Known

Re core fears, core traits. What about core desires?

      The topic of core fears, core traits, came up again recently. What about core desires? 

      The positive side. This is a juxtaposition that often interests me after the question Evelyn Krasnik posted on Quora, about whether you are more motivated by negativity (eg. guilt, anger), or positivity (eg. desire, appreciation ). 

      I thought about this for a while. (There are clearly so many good pote risk answers to this but it felt like I didn't have any immediately that first my current interpretation for the question; this was kind of exciting, going through this set of thought I haven't thought about enough to have an answer for right now).

      After thinking, including after driving by the old car dealership with the broken window, I came up with this one:

      The desire to be known.

~~

A branching thought, while continuing to think about this:

To be loved is to be known.



~~

Add Feb 26 (personal notes)
• Connects with desire to be "remembered" by God. (Past tense is contextual; in other words, known)
• Connects with "I want nothing more than to be seen right through. All the way through." Whether they like what they find or not I do not want to choose for them, but I want them to know me. 
^the exclusion of approval seems contextual, too. There is not denying that love plays into the core desire, too.

Sunday, 11 January 2026

I am starting to believe most people's fear is not that others are different from them, but rather that others are just like them but better.*

~~

*Or, do something better with it.

New Chickpea Recipe Unlocked! Seven Spice Chickpea Stew with Tomatoes & Coconut (By Laura Weight; Not My Own)

New chickpea recipe unlocked! (And this one has coconut milk.)

Source: https://thefirstmess.com/2016/01/20/vegan-seven-spice-chickpea-stew-recipe/

Seven Spice Chickpea Stew with Tomatoes & Coconut

Created by Laura Wright — Published 20/01/2016

[My own note: Instead of balsamic vinegar I added a squirt of lemon and lime juiced and a bit of dark soy sauce. My own note: This does make it quite sour and acidic and it did not taste great at first but then once the coconut milk, cilantro, and parsley were added it was great! I used both flat parsley and cilantro, and instead of Swiss chard, the long, high-contrast Bok choi. I used olive and avocado oil, and enough to cover the cotton of the pot.]

Spice Blend

Stew

Instructions

Recipe Notes

This stew has very few ingredients, so it’s ideal to use good quality tomatoes and fresh spices.

I made this during the day for the purpose of photographing/sharing it here, but when I reheated it

for dinner, I added about 1 cup of chopped Swiss chard for an extra hit of greens.

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground coriander

1 teaspoon smoked paprika

½ teaspoon ground turmeric

½ teaspoon dried oregano

½ teaspoon dried chili flakes

¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 tablespoon coconut oil (could also use olive!)

1 medium yellow onion, small dice

spice blend (see below!)

1 tablespoon tomato paste

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups cooked chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1 cup jarred/canned diced tomatoes

1 cup light coconut milk

sea salt and ground black pepper, to taste

⅓ cup chopped flat leaf parsley or cilantro (or a combination)

1. Make the spice blend. In a bowl, combine the cumin, coriander, smoked paprika, turmeric, dried

oregano, chili flakes, and cinnamon. Set aside.

2. In a deep cast iron skillet or a small soup pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Once the oil is lightly

shimmering, add the onions to the pan. Cook and stir the onions until translucent and quite soft,

about 5-6 minutes. You want the onions to be quietly sizzling while they cook, so lower the heat if

necessary.

3. Add the spice blend to the skillet and stir. Once the spices are quite fragrant and fully integrated with

the onions (about 1 minute), add the tomato paste, mashing it with the back of your spoon into the

spices and oil. Add the garlic and chickpeas and stir the mixture for 30 seconds.

4. Add the balsamic vinegar and tomatoes to the pan and stir, using the back of your spoon to scrape

up any brown bits that may have formed on the bottom of the pan. Add the coconut milk to the

skillet and season the stew with salt and pepper.

5. Bring the seven spice chickpea stew to a boil, and then lower the heat to a light simmer. Cook the

stew for about 10-15 minutes, or until the flavours have melded to your liking. Garnish the top of the

stew with the chopped parsley/cilantro. Serve stew hot with polenta, brown rice or any other

accompaniment you like.

~~~~

What I (blogger) cooked it with:

• Chuan'er seasoned stovetop eggplant with carrots and bell peppers and onions.


2 heaping tbsp slightly ground roasted sesame seeds

2 heaping tbsp ground coriander seeds

1 tsp black pepper

1 tsp chili flakes

1 tsp salt

2 tsp cumin

(For about six long skinny eggplants, braised or steamed in a pan with oil, and optionally obions, bell peppers, and carrots. Note - I think the other vegetables goes better with the sweeter more traditional chinese eggplant)

• Boiled/steamed broccoli with garlic and soup stock, the way my mom taught me and often made for us

• steamed white rice with a bit of vegetable stock

• fruit salad bar with honeydew melon, Dragon fruit, Baba's, fruit cocktail from a chance coconut milk, honey, and 10% cream, alone with orange slices on the side.

Dear Anxious Attachers: a Message From a Securely Attached Friend or Neighbour

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTLZN4bjPHC/?igsh=aGJ6bGJzZHdna2p2

My personal opinion: yes to 2-4. Not usually, for 1.

Anxious ones accidentally sabotage because they are scared of the external situation. Avoidants can't even face themselves and they usually start being super disrespectful over things that are actually them problems to begin with. Anxious ones drain me and I have stronger boundaries with them, but avoidants who don't care to change I just let them leave and find it unfortunate but that is all.

I have a secure attachment style. Avoidants in my life may change, and I have a measure of patience and margin for this. But ultimately I will respect boundaries they insist upon, and it usually ends with them very angry with me for doing this, then running to find an anxious attacher who they can more easily keep along.

Pay attention to sequence of events. If I came before you, or you suspect I did (maybe you sense him watching for someone in the corner of his eye), yes you might be their emotional rebound. Be very careful to observe unusually quick declarations of love or committment, *especially* if something just went down between them and someone with a secure attachment style. They are very shaken up, and will make you feel your life is so meaningful because they "need you". 

I am not saying it's not possible for them to love you. But I am saying for your own sake that you should probably take more time than you think you need, because whether they have intention to actually get better or not, they don't know how to do this yet and it is important you have every opportunity available to discern what is going on. 

~~

Believe in your tomorrow's self who walks down a path with beautiful scenery all around and appreciates it no matter what someone else is doing.

Thursday, 8 January 2026

A realization about being overwhelmd with social media messaging, where even pebbling has felt increasingly difficult

I realized that the worst of my social messaging overwhelm has coincided with the general transition from images to reels for posts that people send to each other. 

      I am someone who already for my own social media use, rather than watching a million short videos, would rather watch one short video a million times. 

      Even if just three people send me a reel in a day, that doubles how much time and attention I would have spent on social media that day. 

      No wonder this is stressing me out and making me feel concerned and strained in even some most treasured relationships.

Monday, 5 January 2026

My brain took a really long washroom break

"Sorry, my brain took a really long washroom break/clocked out for lunch and is back now."

~~

      M: "My brain needs a back in five minutes sign"

      J: "the inside of my brain looks like [a Chinese mall]"

Sunday, 4 January 2026

 Observation: I don't love cooking (I often don't even like it), but I love feeding people and hosting.

(Especially feeding people food they really enjoy, and/or is very good for them.)



Friday, 2 January 2026

Alexa, play "Somebody that I used to know."

Alexa, play "Somebody that I used to know."

Bra on.

Pencil bun in.

Game time.

     And all at the same time. This 2010's playlist is making me smile and cry.

     I miss those days. I miss her. Being in nature, and volunteering so much, and helping people at work.

      Some of that is here, now. (All of it, in an important piece, at least )

      Maybe it' going to put her picture in that tacky-styled collage frame. It's growing on me, lol.

~~

Playlist highlights:

Somebody that I used to know.

We are young


I could life you up/safe and sound


The best day of my life (I knew this was coming, and that it would make me cry)


Wanna be somebody to someone


~~


I remember infin would make playlists for people.


     What I wouldn't give now to have taken her up on that Yukon plane playlist.


     We are probably both too autistic to listen to someone else's music list instead of just one on repeat, but I'd do it if she has offered even just a couple years later.


     My deare friend, I wish you were growing with me and not sleeping so long.

Sitting here in colours that make me happy, with beautiful opportunities now and hope for the future.

 






Lessons so far in making pan-fried tofu

For crispy on the outside and soft on the inside tofu, this has been my go-to: 

• Use fresh medium firm tofu, cut into small cubes

• Do the stir frying in non-hydrogenated margarine as opposed to oil. Heat the margarine before putting in the tofu cubes, but don't make it extremely high heat yet. Otherwise the outside may burn.

• You may use a lid just to help speed up the heating of the margarine to fry the first side of tofu, but it's important not to leave it too long. Otherwise the water gets trapped and you will not get crispy on the outside tofu. Putting the lid on at all is not required in many cases.

• While stir frying the first side of the tofu cubes, I season the top layer with dry garlic powder, paprika, and a bit of black pepper and  salt. (For salt, I keep in mind that the margarine is already salted.)

• instead of waiting for the first side that is being cooked to reach the brown color that I desire from the start, I let it reach a light gold and then flip it to the top (seasoned) side, and then return to the original side later to complete the cooking. I believe it works like this because the water from the fresh tofu kind of gets trapped underneath the cubes upon first being put into the pan, so it doesn't develop the crispy crust so much. However, the top side has been exposed to the air the most while being heated by frying pan even if it is not indirect contact right now. Therefore, more water has probably evaporated from this side than any other on the tofu at this point and will crisp the fastest, while the only partly cooked side gets to evaporate while the seasoned side is being crisped. Additionally, this might be my imagination but I feel like the seasoning on this particular side helps create crust, and give me a feel for how much to fry this particular batch of tofu to get my desired crispy level.

Thursday, 1 January 2026

Spider Women

 There is a type of woman I will call "Spider Women".

There is something that I think defines or characterizes our experience in life more than we might realize.

I'll try to be concise.

It is this: We don't feel that if we are better than someone at something, that it gives us the right to look down on or mistreat them.

This is obvious to us, along with the fact that everyone is better than eachother at something.  

Many people do not think like this. And I have the feeling that this is behind a lot of what we find confusing and frustrating about some people.

These people secretly look down on, compete with, or feel entitled to recieve more from other on the basis of this thinking. Some of them know this is wrong and try to hide it, but do not do much to change this on the inside.

Conversely, when we recognize that realistically we are exceptional or gifted in some way, while we are not immune to pride as well usually we have this immediate thought: this means I have a big responsibility to use this well, including in the service of others.

The greater the gift, the greater this feels. It can be intimidating, too. 

We are Spider women: with great power comes great responsibility.

It may be one of our greatest social and emotional challenges throughout life to meet again and again a disappointing and potentially heartbreaking reality that someone else was not thinking about something, especially related to us, in this particular way as purely as we thought, or even at all.