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My personal opinion: yes to 2-4. Not usually, for 1.
Anxious ones accidentally sabotage because they are scared of the external situation. Avoidants can't even face themselves and they usually start being super disrespectful over things that are actually them problems to begin with. Anxious ones drain me and I have stronger boundaries with them, but avoidants who don't care to change I just let them leave and find it unfortunate but that is all.
I have a secure attachment style. Avoidants in my life may change, and I have a measure of patience and margin for this. But ultimately I will respect boundaries they insist upon, and it usually ends with them very angry with me for doing this, then running to find an anxious attacher who they can more easily keep along.
Pay attention to sequence of events. If I came before you, or you suspect I did (maybe you sense him watching for someone in the corner of his eye), yes you might be their emotional rebound. Be very careful to observe unusually quick declarations of love or committment, *especially* if something just went down between them and someone with a secure attachment style. They are very shaken up, and will make you feel your life is so meaningful because they "need you".
I am not saying it's not possible for them to love you. But I am saying for your own sake that you should probably take more time than you think you need, because whether they have intention to actually get better or not, they don't know how to do this yet and it is important you have every opportunity available to discern what is going on.
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Believe in your tomorrow's self who walks down a path with beautiful scenery all around and appreciates it no matter what someone else is doing.
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