I realize I tend to push away good things happen to me that I did not earn, but readily feeling deserving of all the bad things, even if I didn't cause them.

I'm glad I asked for two items instead of just onr when offered by app support.

Everywhere from feeling it would be unfair to accept more than one item as compensation for my lost data, to pushing away good from my mom even after she stressed me out and made it hard for me to cook.

I think this is partly from low self-esteem, and partly trying to avoid a victim mentality as if the world owes me a debt.