A question that has been in my mind for nearly my whole life, is that is what we believe truly something that we control? How do we process reality and understand it differently than just? What is the way we understand it?
The closest thing might be that we control how much effort we put into learning more and what we choose to focus on I guess. But there are many things I want to believe that I can't, and things that I do believe that I don't want to. And even if I lied to myself about these things, what's in my heart is the same.
Much of what we believe is based on what is presented to us. Some of it based on what we found ourselves. But we don't get to control that big portion.
So while I do have a choice in what I focus my efforts, what values I emphasize, I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I control what I actually believe. Am I, like everyone else, not just processing all the information I have to the best of my abilities?
And yet, in spite of this, some part of my gut, my intuition tells me otherwise about this question. That they are right, that in a significant way we do control what we believe. That even though the thoughts I can consciously articulate to myself indicate otherwise, my intuition is processing things differently on a deeper level, influencing what I believe.
Because with what I can pick apart and explain, I can't rationalize the idea that we control what we believe; but my belief inside in the most ironic way, says we do.
Considering all this feels strange, especially because I know the way people perceive me, what they believe about me. Many people I know ralk to me for answers, perhaps because it tends to be after I have some direction to my thoughts that I choose to speak.
But I feel like in the totality of things, my thoughts are more questions than answers.
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