...the way I explained [loved one(s)], understandably worried I might be tricked emotionally into going back into a dangerous situation, is the way I explained it to him. The parts of me that keep looking for good in him have no seats in the congress of my decision-making anymore. Regardless of well-intentioned or not they misled me horribly, and for their crimes they are exiled, but not executed. Remaining alive elsewhere, but they can't touch things anymore.
I have not killed parts of who I am for what he has done.
That militant realism I kept talking about that separates them from what I think and choose, is what allows me to do this right now. I am not threatened by mixed and confusing or even positive, and seemingly conflicting feelings others (or even myself) might not always know how to make sense of. But even if I might be cautious about how or what I choose to say to people who might worry or misunderstand too much; because they have lost their positions of power or seats in the congress of my decision-making they are not threatening to me anymore. They don't get to touch anything, and it's sad but it does mean there is far less reason for me to run from them so much beyond just self-control in focus as appropriate.
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