Lessons in guilt

It's true there is need to not avoid guilt, but still self-regulate.

I am aware this process must be allowed the time and patience called for. I must feel what I am feeling appropriately, accept responsibility and not dodge accountability.

I must reflect on and appropriately feel this darkness, however, out of a wounded superego I must not project and cover all the world that I touch with that darkness. I must continue to care for myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally, and this must be done if I am to still be there and be present for others I ought to be in the meantime, in the ways I should.

Two friends tried to help me find less extreme perspective from what I had in that moment. When one of them reminded me of the above however using other words, I didn't realize this at the time but it was basically reading my mind a day in advance.

I was already at the place of openly acknowledging I need to have self-control and patience to make this process centered around making peace and doing right as much as possible by the person I hurt now, not just absolving my guilt as soon as possible. He said that was good and important I was there, but he also knew what I would have to be reminded of tomorrow.

What he was doing just might be the definition of using one's own pain and struggles to help others.